Phanfiction! -Youtubers in love-
by TragicwithacapitalT1
Summary: As Phil and Dan discover there love for eachother how will there friends react? And how will Dan cope with these new feelings? *First attempt*
1. Camden-Cafe

Dan awoke; it was a Saturday morning, 'yes' he thought, 'no video today!' He rolled over onto his side and stared at his wall. He didn't know why but he couldn't get Phil out of his thoughts. The previous afternoon they had a 'moment'. Dan was just in the kitchen, as normal, making a cup of coffee, when Phil approached him, he slowly, carefully, brushed Dan's fringe out of his face, smiling. Dan smiled back awkwardly, blushing. He looked into Phil's bright blue eyes that contrasted with his jet black hair. Phil's hand rested on Dan's shoulder, he then quickly without warning, giggled and wandered off. Dan shook his head, trying not to think about how long he'd been waiting for something like that to happen. He ruffled his hair and stood up out of bed. Grabbing his phone of the sideboard he opened the door and walked as silently as possible into the living room, Phil was sat on the couch. 'Shit' Thought Dan, looking down and realising he was only wearing his underpants. Normally this wouldn't bother him but because of what had happened yesterday he suddenly felt very self-conscious, he blushed what he assumed to be crimson red, causing Phil to burst into a fit of giggles. "Come over here stupid" Phil laughed, gesturing towards the seat next to him. Dan looked around cautiously

"Maybe I should get some clothes on first..." He trailed off; Phil had stood up and began walking towards Dan. "Phil... What..." Phil lunged at Dan, grabbing his sides causing him to collapse to the floor in a fit of giggles, Phil crouched next to him and grabbed the back of his neck producing a mock evil laugh, Dan started squeaking crazily, and Phil was almost on top of him now, dragging him over to the sofa, still laughing. "Stop!" Dan managed to squeak. "Never." Growled Phil, winking. Dan's face flushed a deeper shade of red, Phil attacked again, nibbling on Dan's neck as he went. 'What was happening?' thought Dan as Phil began to stop tickling him. Phil stopped; he sat up slightly and stared into Dan's eyes, almost asking if it was okay for him to kiss him. Dan smiled back, and Phil took this as a yes. He lunged forwards, beginning by nibbling on his neck then slowly making his way up to Dan's face. Dan groaned affectionately, feeling Phil smile into the kiss. Then he realised. "Shit Phil, Charlie's coming over today!" he looked down realising he was still in underpants. The doorbell rang. Phil leapt up; sweeping his hair back into shape then started making his way towards the door. Dan ran into his room and dressed quickly. The door slammed. "Dan?" Called Phil. He entered his room as he pulled on his top. Dan's face was still flushed and his hair was everywhere. "Charlie's in the living room, I told him you'd just woken up, okay?" Phil smiled, looking Dan up and down. Dan nodded then followed him out of the room. "Well if it isn't Danisnotonfire!" laughed Charlie, pulling Dan into a hug. "Nice to see you too, Charlieisnotsocoollike." Dan smiled, Phil looked awkward. "So urm, how about a cup of tea?" Squeaked Phil, Charlie nodded and Dan winked. They sat down on opposite sides of the three seated sofa, waiting for Phil. "Xbox?" asked Dan, Charlie nodded, and they grabbed controllers and began playing Skyrim. Phil sat next to Dan and they played and laughed until Charlie left. Awkward hugs at the door and then it was just Dan and Phil again. Dan was unsure what to do now, he didn't really know what had happened with him and Phil that morning but whatever it was, he was wishing it would happen again. Almost as if Phil had heard, he started giggling, and then collapsed onto the sofa, leaving no space for Dan to sit. "Phil, lemme sit down" Dan whined, shoving Phil's legs, Phil grabbed Dan's waist and pulled him towards him, Dan allowed this and lay next to Phil, Phil placed his arm around Dan and nuzzled into the back of his neck, Dan gulped. Every part of his body was tingling at Phil's touch. "Phil... What is happening?" Asked Dan, the heat in his cheeks rising. Phil laughed. "This Dan is called love" Dan gulped again; he turned towards Phil, looking deep into his eyes. Phil leaned forward and kissed Dan on the lips, it felt right.

That night, Dan didn't sleep. He could hear Phil moving around in the room next door and he wanted nothing more than to go in and comfort him. He'd had nightmares for years now and Dan would normally sleep through them but with what had happened he found that he couldn't. He jumped out of bed and crept quietly into Phil's room. Phil was sitting in the corner shaking and crying. Dan was shocked by this sight, all these years and he'd never seen Phil cry once. He ran over to him and pulled him into a hug. He could feel Phil's tears on his shoulders and it hurt. He pulled him up and led him over to the bed. As Dan got up to leave he felt Phil tense. "Don't go. Please?" Phil whispered, holding onto Dan's hand tightly. Dan smiled and lay back down, allowing Phil to cuddle into him. Phil wrapped his arms tightly around Dan's waist and Dan ever so slightly, put his leg over Phil's. That was the first night Phil hadn't had nightmares in years. It was early when Phil woke up; Dan was curled into a ball next to him, still holding onto his hand. He moved his leg slightly, trying to disentangle himself from Dan when he realised that Dan had Phil's leg in-between his. He let out a soft laugh. Dan stirred, he turnt to see Phil smiling down at him and even with tired eyes, he still looked perfect, he released Phil's leg then leant up to give him a kiss. "Morning" Whispered Dan, his voice tired and hoarse. Phil giggled, his face turning red. Dan stood up and shuffled out of the room, leaving a bedraggled, tired Phil alone again. Phil grabbed his phone, he had one text, and it was from Charlie. He read it in his head: Hey Phil, so what's going on with you and Dan? And don't tell me there isn't anything because it's pretty obvious there is.

Phil sighed, was it really that obvious? Dan entered the room again, he was wearing a t-shirt now and it looked as if he'd combed his hair. He sat next to Phil, who handed him the phone. "What..?" Asked Dan, reading the message. "Well shit."

"Dan! Language!"

"Phil, English." Dan smiled. "What do we do now?" A frown crossed his face as he thought about this. Phil looked up into Dan's eyes. "Well, I guess we tell him." He said finally. Phil took the phone and began tapping away at the touch screen. Dan rolled back, pulled the covers over his head and sighed. This wasn't how he wanted to tell Charlie. "Dan?" called Phil, sounding concerned. Dan grunted but didn't respond. Phil pulled back the covers slightly and slipped in next to him. He placed his arm around Dan's waist and squeezed him slightly. "It'll be fine, I promise." Phil sighed as he felt Dan shrug. "How did this even happen Phil? What are we doing? You're my best friend not my lover." Dan cried, pulling away suddenly. He stood up and stormed out of the room, immediately regretting it. He ran into his own room and locked the door, tears fell down his face, and he slid down the door and sat there on the floor. Phil stayed in his own room. He was used to crying over Dan by now. His phone vibrated. He picked it up and read the text message through misty eyes: I'm so happy for you guys! I honestly shipped it for ages xD Just to tell you, no, there isn't anything between me and Alex... :')

Phil let the phone drop. He half smiled through the tears, last night was the happiest he had been for a while, he had been so close to finally having Dan to himself and now he's ruined it. He stood up, slowly approaching Dan's door. He could hear sobbing, "FUCK MY LIFE." Screamed Dan. Phil knocked, loud enough for Dan to hear. "Leave me alone Phil. I need to think." Cried Dan, his voice cracking.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I love you." Whispered Phil, backing away. Dan burst into a new round of tears. He pounded his fists against the floor. 'What am I doing? I love him, don't I? I've loved him for so long and I'm throwing it all away. All I have to do is go out there, comfort him, dry his tears and tell him everything will be okay. I know I should but I can't.' He wiped under his eyes and stood up, pulling on a pair of trousers, he left the room. "Phil?" He called no reply. He called again, still no reply. He ran into the living room and saw a note on the table.

Dan, I need some time to think as well. I might come back and if I don't then just know that I love you, I always have and I always will. I'm sorry but this is the only way.

Dan gasped. The only way? What did this mean? He ran to his room and grabbed his phone, dialling Phil's number in record time. It rang and rang but no answer. He called Charlie who said he hadn't heard from Phil since he was told the news. Dan grabbed his jacket and ran out of there flat, his mind was spinning, and he was trying to think where Phil would have gone. Where did he normally go when he was upset?

Then it hit him.

He ran towards the bus stop and got on the first bus to Camden. Phil would always say that when he was upset, he'd go and visit this little cafe on the edge of Camden town. So that's where Dan was headed.


	2. Confessions

*Phil's POV*

Why did I even bother? Dan's never loved me and he never will. I look out onto the street in front of me. I've been here for about half an hour now. He's not coming for me and I know it. The steam from my cup made the window look frosty. Then I saw him. Dan was running towards the little cafe, his wet hair flopping everywhere, badly dressed and as perfect as ever. The breath caught in my throat. He had known where I was and come for me. He saw me and smiled in relief. The bell on the door rang out and Dan walked in, breathing fast and hard and fell into the chair across from me.

"Don't you ever do that to me again, okay?" Whispered Dan across the table. I nod, trying to take in the sight in front of me. Dan shifted awkwardly under my accusing gaze. I looked away, wanting to do nothing more than hug him. "We better get home to lion then, he's probably missing me." Dan laughed and stood up. I knew he was still angry with me for running away but I didn't know what else to do. I smiled at him, trying to diffuse the tension. We walked to the train station in silence, it was around 11 Am now and I just wanted to be at home. The train was empty, being a weekday not many people were around. Dan sat next to me, holding my hand but trying to hide it, why was he even bothering? Was he trying to stop me from feeling worse? That's all I could think off. I was surprised we hadn't been attacked by fan girls as of yet. We got off at the station nearest our flat, it was still raining and neither of us had jackets. We arrived home, soaked and freezing. "Cuppa tea?" Whispered Dan ripping his dripping jacket from his back, I nodded doing the same. The flat seemed eerily silent as I sat on the sofa waiting for my tea. Dan brought it over, and then sat next to me. "Phil, I know I'm not really one for 'srs bsnss' but we need to talk about this, now." He smiled, trying to avoid eye contact. I knew he was only going to tell me it had been a mistake. "Dan I know we do but I need to tell you something, I know you don't feel the same way but I'm in love with you. I have been in love with you for the past few years. I accepted that it wasn't going to happen but I've always wanted it to and I'm sorry." I gasped and looked down at the floor. "Phil... I..." He couldn't even talk.

*Dan's POV*

"Dan I know we do but I need to tell you something, I know you don't feel the same way but I'm in love with you. I have been in love with you for the past few years. I accepted that it wasn't going to happen but I've always wanted it to and I'm sorry." Whispered Phil, gazing at the ground. I was speechless. "Phil... I..."

I leant over, grabbed his chin and kissed him longingly. It had been all I'd wanted to do the entire way home. He grabbed the back of my neck, tightly. Then I let go, gasping for breath, Phil still holding me. "I love you too." I managed to choke out even though almost all the breath had been knocked out of me.

Phil smiled tears where in his eyes. I hugged him; I didn't have enough energy to kiss him again even though every part of me wanted to. I picked up the tea and went into my bedroom, hoping Phil would follow, he did. I sat down on the edge of my bed, Phil sat next to me. I put my arm around him, attempting to comfort him but the tears began to fall down his face. "Phil, please don't cry, I love you, please? Lion will be sad if you cry." Phil smiled. "Happy tears Dan." He giggled slightly, losing his balance and falling to the floor in a fit of laughter. I started laughing to, it was contagious and soon we were both, literally rolling on the floor laughing.

We sat on the sofa a few hours later, Phil's head in my lap.

"Dan?"

"Yes?" I replied.

"Do you think Lion will get jealous of you know, us?" He giggled slightly

"Maybe but he'll have to deal with it because there's no way I'm letting you go now..." I was blushing and I knew it. Phil didn't respond but seemed content with my answer.


	3. Nightmares and llamas

I woke up at 3 in the morning to a crying Phil. He sobbed uncontrollably as he rolled around in the bed we were sharing, still asleep. I'd been taught never to wake someone having violent nightmares, but he looked so upset, I couldn't just let him put up with the pain. "Phil!" I cried, shaking him trying to wake him up. He kept crying, it wasn't a sad cry anymore, he was in pain. "PHIL" I screamed, tears streaming down my own face now, he still didn't wake. Then he stopped. His eyes didn't open, he didn't move. "Phil?!" I cried again, still no response. I got closer and leant over him, shaking his shoulders slightly. His hearts was racing; I could feel it through his chest. I placed my hand on his cheek. He was freezing cold. "Shit. Shit. Phil? PHIL?" He stirred slightly. "Thank fuck for that! Phil, can you hear me?" I asked, hopefully. I had one of my hands over his heart, my legs either side of him, and the other hand on his face. He mumbled but didn't utter proper words. "Oh god Phil, please don't do this to me."

"Da-nn?" He whispered.

"Phil! Are you okay?!" I asked, He didn't reply. His eyes flickered, shut and rolled back into his head. I grabbed my phone and called for an ambulance. It arrived within five minutes; I held his hand the whole way. He was awake by the time we arrived at hospital. The doctors had told me that his body had been under so much emotional stress, it manifested in his nightmares and caused him to have the start of a fit. Luckily his body had shut down (Blacked out) before this could happen. They said he'd be fine soon enough, and gave us some sleeping medication for him. I took him home; it was just beginning to get light as we went through the door. He was still a bit down but the entire way home he'd been his usual self, cute and funny. I led him to his bed and told him to get some rest but he refused.

Phil's POV

I can't really remember what happened, I just knew I didn't want to sleep ever again, yes I sound stupid but it's true, I was so scared, seeing Dan holding my hand made me calm down a bit though. I spread out on the couch as Dan pulled up a bean bag, grabbed his Xbox controller and turned on Skyrim, his favourite game. "Oh Dan, it's like 6 in the morning and you haven't slept, go to sleep stupid Skyrim can wait!" I laughed, I knew he wouldn't listen. "Shush Phillip! I'm about to complete this quest! Shit! You made me fail!" He gave me the dirtiest of looks then paused his game and pounced on me. "Dan! Ow Dan!" I was laughing though; he was grabbing the back of my neck, trying to tickle me, just like I'd done when this started. He snorted with laughter as I curled into a ball protectively. He was trying to grab my sides but he couldn't so instead started putting his freezing cold hands up my shirt. I squeaked, half in glee, half in shock. "Fuck you're warm" He whispered, cuddling up next to me, his hands still up my shirt. Maybe I could sleep after all... But that's not what I wanted right now. I spun around quickly, seizing Dan's hands in mine before he could react. His eyes were pinched and tired. "Goddamit Dan why won't you sleep?" I asked, in mock sadness. I didn't want him to go to sleep. "Because I want to stay here with you." He whispered. I leaned over and kissed him hard on the lips, he reacted by kissing me back, damn he could be an animal when he wanted to. He started biting my lip and forced his tongue into my mouth. I almost choked but I didn't want to let go. I knew he wanted me then as much as I wanted him but it was too early, we were both tired, what if we regretted it. He pulled back; I knew he was thinking the same as me.

"I love you Phil." He whispered after a few minutes, I squeaked, my insides were squirming. God dammit Phil why are you such a rational thinker?

"I love you too." I finally answered.

*Dan's POV*

Fuck this rational thinking shit. I could have had him there and then but no, my brains to tired. Well, that might have been my only chance but oh well. He had fallen asleep in my arms after a few minutes; he's doing pretty well for someone who was refusing to sleep earlier.

He smiled; he was so cute when he was sleeping. Like a little puppy but with black hair and even bigger, more beautiful eyes. And what the fuck I just called something beautiful. I guess there's a first for everything!

Goddamit he was fucking perfect, how had I not pounced on him before now? My brain really hates me. Every part of my body is telling me to wake him, but I know that's too selfish so I try and sleep. I dream of exactly what I want to happen. When I wake up I have to rush out before Phil see's anything. Fuck this is awkward.

"Dan?" Called a sleepy Phil.

"Urm, I'll be out in a minute" I say, pulling on a new pair of trousers. I hear Phil giggle behind the door. "How mature!" I call out, trying to stifle a laugh myself. I walk back into the living room; Phil's spread out on the floor, making llama noises. "What the fuck are you doing? You literally look like a retard right now." I say, seriously, still stifling a giggle. "Well, since you aren't doing anything about it I thought I'd try and imitate the mating call of a Danisnotonfire. Is it working?" He asked, looking up over his head, a stupid expression on his face. I knelt next to him, holding his face in my hands, leant in close, almost kissed him, and then pulled away. I winked and stalked off to my bedroom. "Dan why would you do this to me?" I heard Phil whine from the living room. "Mwahahahahaha!" I cried, he pushed open the door and literally jumped at me. He pinned me down on the bed. "So Phil you like bondage?" I winked, bursting into another fit of giggles. He blushed. "Noo I just want hugs!" He whined, I nodded, winking and shoving him away with my knee. He put his arms around me awkwardly. "Please? I know you want me to Dan!" He whispered, blushing furiously and hiding his face in my shoulder. "Phil I know I do but let's just wait, mkay?" I kissed him on the head, he let go and I want off to find my phone. "Phil! Cherimon is coming over for dinner" I shouted. I heard him grunt; I wanted him all to myself that evening and had made it clear to Alex and Charlie that they couldn't sleep over.

Time to get dressed I guess...


	4. Fast times at Clairemont high

*Phil's POV*

I wished Cherimon didn't have to come over, I was looking forward to spending the night with Dan and it's going to be awkward since they both know. They came over about 6-ish.

"Phil could you get the door please?" Asked Dan from the kitchen. I grunted, reluctant to go. I ran into the kitchen quickly and stole a kiss from Dan then ran to get the door. "Hi Guise!" I squeaked, as I opened the door. Charlie blushed "Hello Phil" He giggled and Alex walked in behind him, smiling. Dan ran in and waved at them, doing a little dance then leapt back into the kitchen. We all sat awkwardly on the couch for a while, waiting for Dan to finish cooking. "I'll just go check how long..." I trailed off, almost leaping from the couch. "Dan it's so awkward!" I giggled, grabbing his waist and pulling him in for a kiss, Dan surprisingly kissed back, with more force than Phil had intended. Charlie cam in behind them. "Oops, sorry..." He stuttered, walking quickly back into the living room. Dan's face blushed crimson red. "Well fuck." He whispered. We both walked out Charlie and Alex was sitting on the couch both blushing as well. "Well this isn't awkward at all." Dan said sarcastically.

"We can go if you guys want some time alone?" Asked Alex

"No no, I've made food now, let's eat" Dan sighed.

Dinner couldn't have been more awkward. Charlie and Alex left immediately after they finished eating. Making the excuse that they need to let the cat in.

"Phil?" Dan called as he closed the door. I didn't respond I just wanted him to hug me. He walked over to me. I was sitting on the couch my knees pulled up to my chest. "Awh come here bubs!" He said, sarcastically. I gave him the dirtiest of looks then put my arms out, asking for a hug. He came towards me but instead of hugging me he grabbed my hand and pulled me up. "Let's dance." He whispered, pressing play on his iPod dock. 'Fast times at clairemont high' by pierce the veil came on. It was unusually heavy for Dan.

'I was saving myself for you.'

Now I understand.

He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer. I could feel him breathing heavily down my neck, my heart raced at his touch. He put his forehead on my shoulder, coming closer. I wrapped my arms around him. I couldn't wait any longer.

I shifted slightly, he looked up, and I kissed him, fast and hard. He pulled away gasping for breath. "Phil, personal bubble!" He winked. I took the opportunity. I pulled him into the bedroom. He smiled. "No rational thinking. Tonight we do what we want, okay?" He whispered as we lay down. I nodded. God Dan just get your clothes off.

Dan's POV

I was ready. Now for fucks sake Phil take your clothes off. He came closer. God this is awkward.

He started kissing me, slowly, with passion. I leaned in and started tugging at his t-shirt he lifted his arms allowing me to lift it off. Gosh he was skinny. He rolled backwards, I leant over him still kissing him, and I slowly got lower, kissing his neck, his chest. He grabbed my t-shirt and tugged it off, a devilish smile spread across his face. The cute Phil had gone and had been replaced by this animal.

He sat up, taking me with him. He undid the buttons on his jeans and leaned over to undo mine. He pushed me down onto the bed, my legs between his; he grabbed the ends of my jeans and pulled them off, still kissing me. He moaned, I could feel my body tingling. He pushed towards me, willing me to pull his jeans of too, I did. I kissed down his neck again, he pushed closer, I put my hands down the back of his underpants and he groaned again.

No. This isn't right.

"Phil stop, please" I asked.

He did, looking rather flustered and disheartened he fell backwards and lay on the bed.

"I'm sorry, I'm not ready, I love you." I sighed I know I had hurt him. He didn't respond, he grabbed his shirt and trousers and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. I've fucked this up, again. Gosh why is it that's all I seem to be able to do?

I walked out of my room, still half dressed, "Phil?" I called, He didn't respond. I walked into the living room; he was spread out on the sofa again, fully dressed. "Look Phil, please let me explain?" I asked hopefully. "Fine." He grunted.

I sighed, okay here goes nothing.

"I love you, so much, I'm just worried that we're going to regret this, please don't be angry with me, just understand that I'm not ready for this... Yet. Not tonight Phil, I'm so fucking sorry. I've fucked up again. Honestly, I want you so bad but not now. Not yet." I breathed.

He half smiled at me. "I understand Dan, I'm not angry. Can I ask you one thing though?" I nodded. "Will you go out with me?" He whispered. I swear we were already going out but... "I'd love to." He smiled at me, gosh he was sexy. "I know it seems odd but I just wanted to make it official, now I can call you my boyfriend." He giggled; I walked over and lay next to him. He was so fucking perfect even when he was tired.

*Phil's POV*

Of course I'm disappointed I mean maybe I was a bit forceful but he's so sexy, can you blame me? I laughed out loud at this thought, getting strange looks from Dan as he lay in my arms. Meep.

He was officially my boyfriend, god I never expected this to happen.

"Fuck Phil your face is bright red!" Dan laughed, winking at me.

"Shut it Daniel and please stop swearing." He sat up and looked me straight in the eyes. He started giggling.

"What don't you like it Phil?" I sighed, he knew I didn't. "Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Cunt" He whispered in my ear, laughing and laying down again. I grimaced, they were such ugly words. I sat up immediately. Turning away from him and moving to the edge of the couch, He sat up to, his hair was ruffled, his eyes were tired but a smile played on his lips.

"Awh Phil baby. I'm sorry." He giggled, moving closer to me and leaning his head on my shoulders. He turnt my head to look at him and smiled seductively, I blushed. He started laughing again, why must he be so goddamn perfect? I sighed, turning away again. "I'ma make food dude, you want some?" I nodded, it was as if nothing had changed when about half an hour ago we'd been so close to well... I won't say it, I don't like the word.

I could hear Dan humming from the kitchen, he appeared in the door way, dancing, his back to me. He shook his hips then skipped to the fridge. I chuckled."Shake that thang Dan!" I called. He walked sheepishly to the doorway then struck a pose, duck lips and all. He winked then went to grab the plates, he handed me a sandwich on a plate, grabbed his Xbox controller and proceeded to play. I think I fell asleep on the sofa after eating but I woke up in Dan's bed, his arms wrapped around me. I looked down, Dan's hand was in places it shouldn't be. I squeaked, loudly. Dan started moving, his hips directly behind mine. Oh god. No. This. Isn't. Good. Damned. Body. I quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, locking the door, leaving a very red and startled Dan, half naked in my bed.

*Dan's POV*

Well that was the most fucking awkward thing ever. I cuddled up to Phil and well he must have liked it... He ran off to the bathroom to 'relieve himself' as it were.

I lay back down, trying to forget about what had just happened. I thought I'd pretend to sleep so that Phil wouldn't be as embarrassed. He wandered in about 5 minutes later and lay back down, I turnt over immediately, trying to act as if he'd scared me.

"I know you saw Dan... Sorry, fuck that was awkward..." He trailed off.

"Phil! You swore! You actually swore" I cried.

"What? No! You're bad language is rubbing off on me!" I laughed, it was kind of cute when he swore, it didn't sound right though, I tutted sarcastically.

"I'm very disappointed in you Phillip!" I said, leaning over to kiss him, he blushed again and pulled away slightly.

"Hey! I was thinking, maybe we should ya'know go out on like a date tonight?" He said quickly, looking down into his lap, I smiled.

"I'd love to Phil, where should we go?" I asked, taking hold if his chin and pulling it up to face me. He smiled at me, his cute innocent smile.

"I think we should go to the cinema" He said, pouting at me. I nodded then jumped up, grabbing my pillow. Phil understood what I was doing. He grabbed his pillow too.

"Ninja Skills activate!" I cried, running at him with the pillow in front of my face, he caught me in his arms and threw me onto the bed, and started hitting me violently with the pillow.

"Phil!" I cried, laughing. A smile spread across his lips as he pushed the pillow down onto my stomach stopping my arms from escaping. He leant in and kissed me, then pulled back, hit me once more with the pillow and went off to have a shower. I ran to get my laptop realising I hadn't even started filming a video for this week.

I checked my facebook and then went onto my page and posted.

Danisnotonfire

So guys, I'm sorry but there might not be a new video this week, I've had kinds of the most difficult amazing week ever, and I'm far too busy tonight to film, if you know what i mean;D

There was 50 likes within a second, it seems as though I'd almost forgot how popular I was on the internet in the last few days!

Phil came out of the shower, his hair dripping wet with nothing but a towel hung loosely around his waist. He smiled at me then walked into the kitchen to get a drink.

"Urgh Phil why are you teasing me like this?!" I cried, he laughed at this walked to the door way and struck a pose

"What's wrong Dan, do you find this distracting?" He winked, walking off towards his bedroom, my eyes followed him. I could have had him, why didn't I? What's wrong with me? I stood up and went off to have a shower as well.


	5. Super Amazing Project!

*Phil's POV*

I thought I'd make Dan feel bad once more about not wanting me as much as I want him, it worked the look on his face as I came out with only my towel on was priceless. He went to have a shower after me so I went to get ready for our date. I got out my black skinnies and a top with laser kittens on it, throwing a cardigan over the top because it was raining. I was going to leave my hair natural but it looked stupid so I straightened it, no doubt so would Dan even though, as everyone said, he was even more perfect with curly hair.

I decided to listen to some music so pressed play on my iPod, losing control and dancing round my room singing loudly. Dan came in about 20 minutes later, he was wearing blue skinnies, a white v-neck, a black cardi and his hair was curly.

"Dan! Your hair!" I cried, blushing.

"I broke my straighteners" He said, a sad smile on his face.

"I think you look even more perfect..." I trailed off; he sighed then walked over and hugged me.

"So what film are we going to see?" He smiled at me, his eyes huge and hopeful.

"Well it's either, Skyfall or Breaking Dawn Part 2... Your choice" I asked.

"Well, how about we go and see which film has the least amount of people watching it so that we don't have to hide the fact that it's our first date" He smiled up at me again, revealing his perfect teeth.

I nodded, I was speechless, he was so freakin' adorable.

I grabbed my phone, jacket, boyfriend (Who had assumed his position in front of the TV) and we left. When we got to the cinema it was pretty dead, Skyfall was almost out the cinema so we decided to see that, we sat at the back, hand in hand hoping that no-one would see. The film was alright I guess, I didn't really care as long as I was with Dan. Halfway through, realising that no-one was in the cinema, Dan leant over to kiss me, I honestly didn't care if anyone saw but I guess he did. He kept stopping and checking that no-one had come in. The film was finally over.

"So urm wanna go get some food now?" I asked as we stepped out into the cold. He nodded and began heading towards the closest restaurant. It was just a diner but it was pretty empty and would do fine to end our date. We ordered burgers and chips.

"So..." I trailed off; neither of us had really said anything all night.

"Oh Phil! we really need to film a video when we get in, would you mind being in mine? And we need to film the super amazing project and are you filming one?" He whispered furiously across the table.

"Urm okay, sure I'll be in yours and yeah, I do." I smiled; He nodded and leant back in his chair. I leant over to take his hand but he pulled away "Phil! We're in public!" He cried, quietly.

"Dan I don't care if people see, I love you and I want to show the world I do!" I whispered, trying to smile but feeling disheartened.

"I know and I love you too but I don't want people to know just let, I guess I haven't gotten as used to the idea as you have." He frowned, putting his hand comfortingly on my knee under the table.

"Okay... Let's just eat then go home then" The food arrived soon enough and eventually we were ready to leave. The streets were pretty empty, it was almost 9Pm and it had begun to snow, Dan came closer to me for warmth. He put his hand in my back pocket so I did the same to him; He leant up and kissed me on the cheek.

"I guess I could get used to this" He said, winking.

We arrived back at our flat after about half an hour of walking/skipping through the snow.

"You ready to film then?" Asked Dan, literally the moment we got in.

"Urm, okay, what are we filming first?" I asked

"I think the super amazing project, give our viewers some Phantastic action, if you know what I mean" He said, winking.

The video went a little something like this:

Dan: Hello internet!

Me *Bright red*: Hey guys!

*Random noises/bad news/terrible segment I came up with in a few minutes*

Dan: So! We have some news for you internet...

Me: News? We've already done the news Dan...

Dan: After reading all the Phanfiction, we'd like to tell you all that it's sweet and cute and it's canon, so ship us all you want danasours and phillions!

I gasped. I had no idea he was going to tell them, I blushed and giggled awkwardly!

Dan nudged me and told me to say something.

Me: Yes! Ha-ha, it might have been nice to know you were going to tell them Daniel!

I nudged him back and kissed him quickly on the cheek.

All the videos basically went the same, mine with more lions, Dan's with more llamas and sarcasm. We uploaded them, waiting to be judged by our fandom's.

The comments were pretty much the same, surprisingly there wasn't much hate, and apparently we had the least homophobic fan base in the world. All the comments were people saying how they knew it was always canon and blah blah blah.

The next step was to call our parents according to Dan.

We both called them at the exact same time.

"Hello? Hi mum! I have something I need to tell you..." I trailed off hesitating. "Mum, I'm gay and I and Dan are together." I said abruptly, giving her the chance to take it in. She squeaked down the phone: I knew it!

Wow, thanks mum.

Then it was Dan's turn...

"Hey mumsy! Look, long story short, I fancy Phil, he fancies me so we're doing a thing alright?" He laughed; his mum had taken the news well.

"Okay. Now that's all done with, I have one more thing I need to do..." Whispered Dan, approaching me slowly.

*Dan's POV*

I'd come out to everyone now, I wouldn't regret what I was about to do.

"Phil, I won't make you wait any longer..." I whispered into his ear as I held him tight. He relaxed slightly in my grip.

I dragged him over to the couch, laying him down softly, slowly. I started kissing him, his neck, and his chest. He took his shirt off, I took of mine. I wasn't calling it off this time.

I pressed against him, a problem growing in my pants. "Dan" Phil groaned, I could feel him tensing as he felt my 'problem' against his thigh.

He sat up and pushed me down onto the opposite side of the couch, he had a problem to, apparently.

He started tugging at my jeans with urgency, I allowed him to slip them off, and he did the same. He pushed hard against me, trying to tug of my underpants, I took his off first. He quickly pulled mine off before I crashed into him, slowly, slowly. Then I thrusted into him so hard he almost fell back.

"OUCH" He cried, half in pain, half in pleasure. I didn't stop, I continued thrusting into him slowly until finally I released. It was the best I'd ever had.

Phil groaned in satisfaction then rolled over so that he was on the bottom.

"My turn" He whispered seductively, thrusting into me.

Two orgasms in one night, I knew I was going to be sore by the morning and I didn't even care.

*Phil's POV*

We went to the bedroom, as amazing as that was I was hoping Dan didn't want to go for round three. I collapsed into bed and curled up into a ball; Dan wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight Phil." He whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too Dan."


	6. Alone Time

I awoke early in the morning; Dan was in the kitchen making breakfast, pancakes to be specific. I walked in and hugged him from behind, startling him, but he soon melted into the backwards embrace. "Morning" He whispered, kissing me.

I smiled, "Whachu cooking?" He gave me a dirty look, and gestured towards the pan and laughed. I face palmed, of course I knew Daniel I was just trying to make conversation. I went and sat at the breakfast bar, watching him cook. He danced across the kitchen, grabbing eggs, milk and flour. He shimmied across the floor and started singing a My Chemical Romance song.

"Look alive, Sunshine.109 in the sky but the pigs won't quit. You're here with me: Dr. Death Defying. I'll be your surgeon, your proctor, your helicopter. Pumpin' out the slaughtermatic sounds to keep you alive. A system failure for the masses, anti-matter for the master plan. Louder than God's revolver and twice as shiny. This one's for all of you rock'n'rollers. All you crash queens and motor babies. Listen up! The future is bulletproof! The aftermath is secondary! It's time to do it now and do it loud! Killjoys, make some noise!" He cried in his best American accent. He continued to scream 'Na Na Na' until the food was ready. He brought it over to me and sat down. "Breakfast is served!" He said, digging in immediately. I did the same.

"So what are we gonna do today?" Dan whispered then burped as we sat on the sofa. 'Charming.' I thought.

I shrugged. I wasn't feeling... Great.

"What's wrong Phil?" Dan said, looking concerned. I shook my head. "Tell me please?" He asked, pouting. I shrugged, I didn't want to talk. He came closer and curled up next to me; I didn't want to hug him back. Was I getting cold feet over our relationship? No. I couldn't, I loved him but today I just didn't want to be near him.

"I might go and visit my parents today Dan" I said finally. He frowned. "Did you want me to come?" He answered and I shook my head.

"Phil, have I done something wrong..?" He asked again and I shook my head.

"Phil please talk to me!" He whispered looking worried.

"I'm fine Dan I just need some time alone, that's all." I whispered, avoiding eye contact. He frowned and shuffled over to the other side of the couch.

"Okay, fine. I'll see you later then." He said, slipping off the sofa and going into his bedroom. I put my face in my hands, what didn't he understand about me just wanting to be alone?! I got up, got dressed and left for my parent's house.

*Dan's POV*

What the fuck was wrong with Phil? I swear he was the one begging me to fuck him? Now apparently he thinks it's a mistake or at least that's what I'm interpreting his 'I need to be alone' as. I heard the door slam about five minutes later. "Good riddance." I said aloud to myself. I went into the living room, without Phil the place seemed so quiet. 'No Dan. You don't need him.' I thought, but my fears of abandonment soon crept back in and I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor wishing to be dead. I'd tried self-harming before and it hadn't done anything for me so I figured it still wouldn't. Either way, hurting myself over something like this wasn't worth it. I just cried and cried and Phil didn't come back, I started to think that he never would but tried to comfort myself in the fact that he had left Lion here and he wouldn't do that. He always took lion when he went to people's houses...

"Stop thinking about him Dan!" I shouted at the wall, hoping that somehow it would help, it didn't, obviously. A memory hit me, right in the stomach. We watched every Harry Potter film together the other week, he fell asleep in my arms and I remember feeling so content for the first time in a while. He woke up and looked so cute "Did I fall asleep?" He asked, cutely. "Obvi-ously." I replied in a mock Snape voice.

"STOP IT DAN!" I cried, I really wasn't helping myself but I never did when I was upset. The door creaked open and slammed. I didn't move, I knew it was Phil.

"Dan?" he called, probably seeing that all the lights were off. I didn't respond but sniffed loudly hoping he'd hear. He called my name again. "Just go away Phil" I squeaked out, a new layer of tears making its way down my face.

"Dan, are you crying?" He asked no emotion in his voice. I ignored him again. He walked into the bathroom, assuming the worst and thinking I'd cut. "Dan! You didn't did you?" He cried, bending down. I shook my head but he still checked my arms. "Wha- Why are you crying?" He whispered. I shrugged and got up, heading for my bedroom. He followed me, turning on the lights as he went. I lay down on my bed, turning away from him; he sat on the edge, staring at me.

"I love you Dan." He said after a long silence. I didn't respond. I knew he didn't love me but why would he come back and torture me? More tears. He lay down next to me, his eyes boring into the back of my head. "What?!" I cried, turning around quickly. He looked worried. Why?

"What's wrong Dan? You're supposed to tell me everything." He whispered.

"Why am I supposed to tell you everything?" I cried.

"Because I'm your boyfriend for fucks sake!" the swearing put me of a bit.

I sighed, really Phil? You left me all day, not wanting to be around me, and you come home and have the guts to call me that?!

"Am I Phil?"

"Yes! Dan I just needed some space! I'm sorry I was gone for so long, it wasn't anything to do with last night but Jesus Dan I haven't seen anyone in almost a week!" He shouted, sitting up and turning away. 'Shit, what have I done? I'm trying to push him away.'

I sat up to and leaned over, hugging him from behind. "I'm sorry Phil. You know I have an abandonment issue, that's why I'm bad in relationships, I don't worry about people cheating on me, I worry about them leaving, I'm sorry, I'm such a fuck up!" I started crying again. Phil turnt to look at me and I turnt away in shame.

"Dan you aren't a fuck up! Look at everything you've done! Don't you EVER say that again! I understand I really do but I won't leave you, I promise, I know you won't believe me at first but I plan to stay until you do and from there we can make this work, properly. I mean it when I say I'll love you forever! And as long as you can deal with Lion being jealous then I'm hoping you will too"

My anger dissipated. I guess I believed him, did I have a choice? I loved him too much to let him go.

"This is going to be cheesy but... You'll stay with me, always?"

"Always." Whispered Phil, I then preceded to glomp him on the floor.

He eventually managed to get me back onto the bed, I was still crying but I think in happiness. He cuddled up to me, his lanky arms squished up against my side; I made a point of swapping and leaning against him.


	7. Your forever is all that I need

I woke up, Phil had gone, I started panicking but then I heard a crash from the kitchen and knew. I got up and got dressed then put on some music, that's lyrics would hopefully help Phil understand.

'If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn' By Sleeping With Sirens played loudly through the house.

'They say that love is forever  
Your forever is all that I need  
Please stay as long as you need  
Can't promise that things won't be broken  
But I swear that I will never leave  
Please stay forever with me'

Phil noticed.

"Dan, you really can be soppy when you aren't being sarcastic" He laughed, kissing me as I approached him. I laughed as well; I guess I just wanted him to know what he meant to me. I was being way to soppy though!

I slapped him on the chest and ran into the living room, claiming my usual seat on the sofa. I grabbed my Xbox controller and switched on kinect.

"Phil?" I called; he walked in and saw me standing in front of the TV, our star wars kinect game on the screen. He giggled and walked over.

"Lemme finish cooking then I can beat your ass at this game" He winked and stalked back of into the kitchen. I started playing by myself, practicing because Phil was like the master of this game. He came back in about five minutes later holding a platter of random food.

"Did you go shopping or something?" I asked, staring at the food in amazement, he nodded then placed the food on the table. I dug in immediately; the food was the best I'd ever seen Phil cook!

"You seriously cooked this?!" I cried after eating the last mouthful.

"Yes Daniel! I have hidden talents as well you know..." He winked. Hidden talents?

"As well..? Who else does..?" I asked, He simply smiled at first.

"The other night was amazing Dan" He whispered, winking again.

"OH, Phillip!" I cried, laughing. It wasn't like Phil to think of the dirty side of things, that was normally what I did! But I guess after years of being best friends my behaviour was rubbing off, I kind of liked this side of Phil.

I stood up quickly, and pulled him up with me.

"May the force be with you Phillion." I said in an odd yoda voice.

"May the odds be ever in your favour Danasour." He replied in his best capitol accent. (Phil had a weird obsession with The Hunger Games, mine was Harry Potter.)

We started playing Phil won the first round, of course. But I won the second. It was nearing 3' o' clock when we finally stopped playing, we couldn't seem to untie. I assumed it was because Phil was letting me win though.

I flopped down onto the sofa, breathing heavily. It was hard work playing star wars for so long!

"What do we do now?" Asked Phil, collapsing onto the seat next to me, he grabbed my leg. I knew what he meant but I was just too tired...

"Sleep, me thinks" I whispered into his ear, squeezing his hand that lay on my knee. He pouted at me and sighed. I snuggled into his shoulder.

*Phil's POV*

I think Dan took what I meant the wrong way... I just wanted to hug him and well I think his dirty mind took over a little bit. I was still kind of worried about him having a breakdown, he'd had one before. I remember being scared, more than I'd ever been in my life. He had just lost one of his closest friends to cancer. He'd tried self-harm and it did nothing for him, he wouldn't leave his room, he wouldn't eat, he barely slept and there was nothing I could do. Then he found YouTube. He decided one night to record a vlog and within a few days it had become featured so he did another one and another and eventually he started to return to normal. I'd only known him for a year or so when this happened but I'd gotten so close to him within a short space of time. Now, if this happened to him again and well... It was worse; I don't think I could live without him.

Anyway, back to the present.

We had fallen asleep for about an hour, cuddled together. He'd looked a bit ill after eating, maybe he had the flu or something. He was acting fine, his breathing was a bit off but that was it.

Dan pushed against my stomach. He frowned slightly, he looked to pale. I touched his chin, he was boiling hot yet he was shivering. 'Probably just the flu' I thought, I hoped.

"I need to piss Dan..." I trailed off, moving his head and standing up, he grabbed my waist, his hands were weak and sweat dripped from his forehead.

"Dan, are you okay? You don't look to well.." He nodded smiling.

"Don't leave me" He said, opening his tired eyes, they looked sad and bloodshot.

I shoved him off but bent down and kissed him on the head, He'd be fine for five minutes by himself, I was only down the hall if he needed me anyway.

*Dan's POV*

I lay in Phil's lap, everything was spinning. All I wanted was to sleep but no...I needed to get out of the flat. I needed fresh air. I got up, grabbed my coat and iPod and ran out of the door before Phil had gotten out of the bathroom. My head was spinning and I had no Idea why. I stumbled out of the door and ran towards what I thought was the park. Everything was out of shape and moving, what was happening? I could see blood everywhere around me but who's was it? I stumbled on a twig and landed face first in a ditch. That's the last thing I remember, everything went black.

*Phil's POV*

I left the bathroom as the door slammed. What?

"Dan!?" I called in panic. What if something had happened to him?

I called his phone, it went straight to voicemail. I quickly grabbed my jacket and ran out of the door. There was blood directly outside the door and on the staircase. Shit.

I ran downstairs, following a path of blood. It headed towards the green area nearby, there was more and more until finally, I found him.


	8. KickTheStickz!

He was lying in a ditch, covered in blood which I could see was coming from his nose and a little from his mouth. He was curled into a ball, asleep. He looked as if he was in pain. I was in too much shock to do anything, and then I snapped back to reality.

"D-Dan?" I stuttered, bending down next to him. He didn't answer, more blood dripped from his nose. I couldn't move. I was frozen in fear. What had happened? He was fine a minute ago... Well at least I thought he was. Dan was good at hiding things.

I took out my phone but I had no service, he had managed to get pretty deep into this foresty bit. I tried lifting him up but he was like a dead weight in my arms. I didn't want to leave him but to save him I knew I had to move closer to the flat. I ran through the forestry and onto the path of the park and dialled 999.

They rushed to where I was, I led them to Dan. He was just coming around as the paramedics got to him. They put him on a stretcher and we got into the ambulance. This was the second time we'd been in an ambulance this week, a personal record. He smiled up at me as I held his hand

"Urm are you related to him?" Asked the nurse, checking Dan's blood pressure.

"I'm his boyfriend." I said, without hesitation, the nurse smiled at me.

"Okay well it seems he has a stomach problem, we're not quite sure yet, it might have been something he's eaten or maybe an allergic reaction but it doesn't seem to be that bad. That said, it was a good idea to call the ambulance, he could have lost a lot of blood." She leaned over and took Dan's temperature and copied it down onto a sheet of paper.

We pulled up at the hospital and they rushed him out and into a wheelchair. He still looked pale and not entirely with it. He was sent to the accident and emergency ward. He sat up in his bed, medicine being pushed through his blood via a drip. I kissed him on the cheek, he still looked to pale.

"I'm sorry Phil." He said finally, his dark brown eyes full of tears.

"Sorry for what?" I said, grabbing his hand.

"Well I hadn't been feeling good all day but I thought it was just the flu and maybe if I had of said something this could have been avoided." He tried to smile but there was pain behind his eyes. I kissed his hand and shook my head, he was being stupid.

The nurse entered our cubicle, smiling.

"Right Mr. Howell, it seems you are anaemic. This has nothing to do with your nose bleed however, we're sure that it was just your bodies reaction however the dizziness and fainting is what caused us to think that. It's caused by a lack of iron, we're going to give you some iron tablets and we recommend you take it easy for the next few days, get your boyfriend to do everything for you." She blurted out, winking.

"Well it could have been worse and don't worry, Phil already does everything for me!" He said laughing, I guessed he was back to normal, I could feel my face burning. "Now take me home, away from these peasants!" He cried after the nurse left.

"Oh Daniel" I whispered, kissing him.

When we get home, he walks in and lays out on the sofa, flicking on the TV, he won't move from that spot all night.

I sigh, taking a spot on the beanbag. I curl up against it and fall asleep. I awake an hour later to the sound of Dan vomiting.

I ran to the bathroom, he was leaning over the toilet being violently sick, nothing but acid.

I turnt away, it wasn't a pleasant sight. I heard him stand up and grab some mouthwash. I walked in and hugged him but he pushed me away.

"I don't want you to get sick as well..." He whispered, sitting and leaning against the bathroom wall, I sat across from him.

"D'you want some water?" I asked, he nodded. I ran to get him a drink and when I came back, he'd fallen asleep against the wall. I pulled him into my arms and stood up, he was losing weight. I pulled him into my bedroom and lay him on the bed, propped up against a pillow. I grabbed some paracetomol from my bedside cabinet. He took them, gulping down the water. I lay next to him, pulling out my laptop and putting on a film, my arm around him.

"I love you Phillip" He whispered, snuggling into my neck.

"I love you to Daniel" I giggled at the use of his full name.

Dan's phone started ringing, he handed it to me.

"Hello?"

"Phil! Is Dan around?" Asked Charlie.

"Urm, he's ill... I can give him a message if you want?"

"Please! We've been invited to YouTube HQ! You and Dan, there's gonna be tons of us! Do you reckon Dan will be okay by then? It's in a week!" Cried Charlie.

"Dan, Charlie wants us to go to YouTube HQ in a week, do you reckon you'll be up to it?" Dan nodded frantically a huge smile spread across his face.

"Ha-ha okay, yeah we'd love to Charlie" I said smiling

"Okay! Awesome! I'll see you guys then! Bye!" Charlie shouted.

"Byes!" I cried back. Dan sat up, excitement clear in his eyes.

"Oi you, take it easy, you're not well, remember?" I whispered, kissing him on the cheek and pushing him back down. I lingered over him for a second, staring straight into his eyes then rolled over. Dan's face was bright red.

*One week later, Dan's POV*

Excitement? Fuck. I felt like I was going to explode! Okay so it wasn't the first time I'd been but I'd never been with everyone else, it was normally just me and Phil but with everyone here it just seems more exciting!

Then it occurred to me, what if they think it's weird because of me and Phil being an item? My stomach tightened. Would they still like us?

"Phil." I stopped dead as we got of the train. "What if they don't like us anymore?" I whispered, grabbing his arm.

"Dan it'll be fine, I promise." He said calmly.

"Phil, what if they think there's something wrong with us?" I replied.

He took my hand and squeezed it. Not saying anything else on the matter. We approached the doors; inside was so bright because of the amount of lights and the white-washed walls. I squeezed Phil's hand tighter, I was half excited, half scared. Bertie came walking up to us.

"Dan! Phil!" He called, slapping me on the shoulder.

"Heya!" Called Phil back, I just smiled; still refusing to release Phils hand. Bertie looked down and smiled, blushing.

"Hello!" Called someone from across the room, everyone we knew from YouTube, were sitting on this huge white cushioned bench all smiling at us three. Me and Phil walked over, I still wouldn't let go of his hand.

"Dan, it's fine, they won't judge us but you're stopping the blood flow to my wrist..." Whispered Phil into my ear, pecking me on the cheek as we walked towards the others. I let go, still remaining close to Phil as possible.

"Awh, look at you two love birds." Said Crabstickz winking.

"Shut up." I said, in a jokey way, letting out a nervous laugh. Phil stood behind me, hands around my waist as Bertie took his seat at the table again.

"So, what is it we're here for?" Asked Phil, caressing my stomach.

"Well, we wanted it to be a surprise, it's kind of a party/video making fest!" Answered PJ. I nodded.

"A party for what?" Asked Phil.

"Well you guys getting together of course!"

I was shocked, they'd really do this for us?

"I don't know what to say... Thank you!" I cried, hugging each of them in turn.

Phil stood awkwardly behind me blushing, parties weren't really his thing. I took his hand not trying to kill him this time.

"It'll be fine" I whispered into his ear.

We walked into a huge room of to the side of the main hall. The room was flooded with light and people, obviously this was going to be some nerdy party with Xbox games and Pokémon.

We walked in cautiously, still hand in hand. Then I saw her.

*Phil's POV*

What the hell was she doing here?! Was this someone's idea of a sick joke?!

Dans ex-Girlfriend stood in the far corner. Whilst everyone else was in casual clothing she was dressed for a date. She hadn't seen us yet, luckily. Dan had spotted her too, he stopped immediately, tightening his grip on my hand.

"Phil... Maybe we should tell someone to get her out of here?" Whispered Dan, sounding nervous.

I nodded, calling Charlie over.

"Hey urm... What is _she _doing here?" I asked, gesturing towards her.

"Oh the guys invited her, she's promised to behave Dan, don't worry." Charlie smiled re-assuringly.

"What she says and what she does are always completely different things." Dan pulled me over into a crowd of people, trying to hide I figured.

When they were dating everything was fine, the relationship didn't last long however, two months and Dan decided she was to clingy, which she was. She wouldn't even let me hear him! Anyway, after they broke up she started stalking him. She would text him good morning and goodnight, comment on everyone of his videos', facebook status' and pictures. She was insane! She thought they were still going out! It was only in the past few weeks that she'd calmed down a bit and that was only because Dan had told her he'd get a court order if she didn't back the fuck off.

For lack of a better word she was deluded.

"Shit Phil she's coming over!" Cried Dan, his nails digging into my hand.

"Don't worry, she knows about us, what exactly can she do?" I whispered, trying to get him to release my now bleeding hand. "And you need to cut your nails.." He got the hint and let go slightly.

She walked over, her dress flaring out behind her, she looked as if she was going to a ball or something.

"Hello Dan! Phillip." She called, nodding at me, me and Dan both waved back awkwardly.

"It's a bit random seeing you two here, how long has it been? A month?" She asked smiling.

"Urm.. How is it random? We're here to celebrate me and Phil getting together... And yeah I think." Dan replied coldly.

"You and Phil getting together?!" She cried, her face turning a bright red. "But you aren't gay! And Phil's not good enough for you!".

"I would appreciate if you left." Dan said, releasing my hand and standing to his full height. She stepped towards me and jabbed me in the chest.

"I know he doesn't love you, he loves me. He always has and always will, you mean nothing to him. Nothing. And I'd rather like it if you backed the fuck away from my boyfriend." She cried, her voice cracking, her eyes spinning wildly. A group of people had gathered around us, obviously hearing how loudly she was shouting. I wrapped my arm around Dan's shoulder.

"Look you crazy bitch, he's mine now okay? You need to accept that he doesn't love you, so back off." I said, my voice one toned.

"Now guys, no need to fight over this ugly mug!" Called Nerimon, ruffling Dan's hair and coming to stand next to us.

"Oh ha-ha Alex." Said Dan sarcasm seeping out of his voice. She looked from me to Dan to Alex trying to work out what was going on.

"I love him, now go away!" Said Dan, leaning up and kissing me. A cheer erupted from the by-standers, rushing towards us and carrying her away.

That seemed so surreal, like a moment from one of those cheesy fan fictions our fans write about us...

The party was well okay... It would have been nicer if I'd just been able to spend some time with Dan. We'd filmed a few videos, a few collabs, and stuff like that. We'd been part of one of Alex's random music videos then at 11PM it was time to leave.

"Dan, I was wondering could I sleep at yours tonight? It's just, it's so far to go home and I didn't realise how late we'd be staying... I don't want to impose but it would really be appreciated." Asked Crabstickz as me and Dan called a cab.

"Of course you can Chris! It's no problem, you can have Phil's bed... It's not like he needs it." Said Dan, winking.

"Thank you guys so much." He said, voice filled with sarcasm.

We arrived home soon after.

"I'm pretty tired so... Urgh... Where's Phil's room? I won't find anything weird in there right?" Yawned Chris.

"Don't be stupid, it's just down the hall." Laughed Dan. We went into Dan's bedroom; he undressed, literally in front of me until he only wore a pair of underpants. I sighed. He grabbed a thin vest from a drawer and turnt towards me.

"Why are you being so shy? We've been much more intimate!" He whispered, winking, my face was burning red.

I decided that I wanted to sleep in pyjamas tonight...

"I'm just gonna go grab some PJ's..." I trailed off as an almost naked Dan got into bed. I ran down the hall, knocking on my own door.

"Chris? I just need to grab some jammies, you decent?" I asked, entering. Luckily he was, He sat in bed deep in thought, texting someone...

I went over to my closet and grabbed my adventure time pj bottoms...

"Who you texting?" A blush crept up Chris' neck.

"Urm... Pj..." He whispered his voice cracking.

"Oh... Kickthestickz" I whispered back, winking.

"Urm yeah... It's urgh well I don't know how to say... It's well canon..." He coughed slightly, the blush going from his neck right to his tanned face.

"Oh... Awh, congratulations... I gotta get to bed so, talk tomorrow?" I said, desperate to get out. He nodded and looked away so I leapt from the room, ninja striding down the corridor.

"Dan!" I cried, bursting into the room, he sat up, I'd scared him.

"Shit Phil! Was it necessary to shout?!" He whispered.

"Yes! Kickthestickz is canon! How cute?!" I said, dancing around the room.

Dan just gave me a what the fuck look.

"Didn't you know?" He laughed.

I shook my head. I pulled on my pyjamas and crawled into bed next to him, turning the light off.

"Phil, why are you wearing pyjamas?" Dan asked, suppressing a giggle. He moved closer to me...

"It's just kind of cold..."I whispered.

"I can keep you warm..." He said seductively, brushing his hand over my stomach. Then I realised.

"Dan Chris is in the next room... We can't!"

He put his finger to my lip, pulled it away and kissed me hard and fast, I tried to speak but he bit down on my lip then pulled away. He laid his hand over my waist, lifting my t-shirt and tracing words onto my stomach.

"Dan-" I groaned, bending in spasm. He knew that's where I was most ticklish. He started kissing my neck, my chin, my chest.

I grabbed his hands in mine and sat up, he came with me.

"What's wrong?" He whimpered, trying to look cute.

"Dan, Chris is in the next room, what if he hears something or comes in?" I whispered, putting my arms around him. He placed his head into my shoulder, I felt something wet.

"Dan are you crying?" I asked, lifting his chin to look at me. He tried to smile but it didn't make it to his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I just... I don't know Phil... I just don't feel so happy, all the time, I just want to be alone, and then I have you and well it's just... I'm confused. I'm in love with you, I don't want to leave your side but I'm so... Depressed." He sighed and pulled away, falling back onto his pillow. I knew this would happen. I knew something wasn't right. Was he having another breakdown? I couldn't let this happen. I lay next to him, clutching him tightly in my arms. I could feel tears occasionally but each time I just kissed him and told him everything was going to be alright, of course I couldn't be sure, but I wasn't letting this happen to him whilst I was around.

"I love you Dan..." I said, feeling him finally fall asleep in my arms.


	9. Onesies and Snow!

Chris had left early hours so I never got to talk to him. Dan stayed in bed when I got up so I brought him some cereal; He'd had a bad night, barely slept. I sighed at his tired eyes.

"Maybe you should have a shower?" I asked, rubbing his shoulder. He simple shook his head.

"Dan, I'm here for you, you know that right?" I whispered, concern clear in my voice, He nodded. "Oh for god's sake Dan at least answer me!" I cried, violently hitting my face with my hands.

"What do you want me to say Phil?! That I'm okay? You want me to _lie?_!" He screamed, throwing the plastic bowl onto his dresser.

"No Dan! I want you to let me help you! I love you! I care, please Dan- I..." I stopped, tears had burst from my eyes, I rolled onto my side and sobbed into my hands. Dan stood up, running from the room. He came back in a minute later, holding Lion in his hand. He came towards me, lay down and snuggled up next to me with Lion.

"Remember when we did the epic prank off?" Laughed Dan... I remember. He pranked me like five times in a day... I put up with all of it because of how much I loved him. I put up with all the times he'd hit me, hurt me, told me he'd prefer someone else to me because I loved him... I deserve an award.

"You were... Are horrible to me" I whispered back.

"I never quite understood why you stayed, I guess because you loved me but you should probably know I only did those things because I was trying to get your attention, it always seemed as though you were really quiet with me, I hated it." He smiled at me, brushing a stray piece of hair from my face.

"It didn't feel like that... I always thought you knew I liked you so were horrible to me so it didn't turn into everything else and every time I hugged you on camera you'd not talk to me afterwards..." I sighed, taking his hand.

"I guessed I was embarrassed and confused as to what I was feeling I mean come on Phil... I never imagined that I'd fuck my best friend a few years back, it's literally the weirdest, most amazing thing I've done in a while to be honest..." He laughed, leaning over to kiss me.

I guessed so but didn't say anything.

"Maybe we should go into town today, get some Christmas shopping done... Get some lunch?" I asked, sitting up. He nodded.

"I guess I'll go get dressed then..." he trailed off, leaving the room to get his clothes. Soon enough I was dressed.

"Dan?" I called, he was taking ages. I'd let him use my straighteners, maybe that's why. He ran out of his room and outta the door, grabbing my hand and pulling me along.

"Dan! Slow Down!" I called after him but he wasn't listening. He ran for the elevator, just catching the door.

"You never run!" I gasped, leaning against the wall. He winked at me and pulled me closer he pecked me on the lips grabbed my hands and sprinted as the doors opened. I called after him but he just ran. He pulled me through town, bashing into people, onto a train to Camden, finally I could sit.

"What the hell was that for?" I said, trying desperately to catch my breath. Dan was panting beside me, his hand still entwined with mine.

"I felt like running.." He whispered, leaning his head on my shoulder.

"Where are we going anyway?" I asked.

"Well, Christmas shopping, food, normal shit." He said with a huge teethy, perfect smile. I nodded, the train ground to a halt and we got off, rushed by the crowd. Dan grabbed my hand; we got on a train to Oxford Street.

"I reckon we should go to Hamleys!" He whispered into my ear, his head on my shoulder. I nodded again, I felt incapable to speak whilst he was so close to me... I have no idea why.

We ran into the huge toy store, I was squealing like a little kid, I loved this place.

"Dan! We need to find the jelly belly station for INFINITE JELLY BEANS." I cried, making a stupid face. He started laughing and took my hand leading me through the shop and up the escalators.

"Phil, I think we may have some fans watching us..." He pointed towards two girls standing by the sweets staring at us both with bright red faces. "Let's go and talk to them" He said striding towards them, my hand still in his.

"Hello... I'm guessing you guys are fans?" He asked, the girls face was almost purple.

"Yes! We're like the biggest danasours and phillions ever!" She cried. Dan smiled, showing his teeth causing one of the girls to squeal.

"So what are your names?" I asked, smiling.

"My names Lauren and this is Becky, she urm can't speak because well yeah she's purple..." She trailed off giggling. "Could we get a picture with you guys?" She asked, she was small yet seemed surprisingly confident. We took the picture and we got chatting. It was nice just meeting fans like this sometimes, at least they weren't screaming.

"Yeah we think it's really sweet you know the whole Phan thing" She said smiling. The other girl nodded in agreement. "We shipped it for ages!" She squeaked.

"Well we better you know leave the couple to Christmas shop..." She whispered.

"Did you guys want a hug?" Asked Dan, rolling his eyes but smiling, they nodded. We hugged and walked off.

"They seemed nice, well less loud than a lot of our other fans." Dan nodded, grabbed my hand and we kept walking. We managed to get almost everyone's Christmas presents and some epic onesies. Mine was a lion and Dan's was a llama.

"For the next Philisnotonfire?" I asked as we left the shop. He nodded and smiled. We next went to Ally-Pally. Ice-skating had never been something I was good at...

Dan took my hand and led me onto the ice. It was pretty empty, it was almost 9 pm. He was really good at this and I just lagged behind gripping onto him so that I didn't slip. He pulled me closer, placing his hand around my waist so I did the same.

"There, we'll be at the same speed now." He whispered, kissing me on the cheek. It was all romantic and sweet, a slight snowfall began, it wouldn't settle though. Then some idiots spotted us.

"Oooh look at the wonks!" one of them shouted, approaching us. He had a disgusted smile on his face. Dan tightened his grip on my waist and scowled at them.

"What, aren't you going to defend your little boyfriend then pretty boy?!" He shouted, the entire ice rink was silent and empty now, if they hurt Dan; I wasn't strong enough to hurt them. "Dan let's just go please?" I whispered into his ear but he ignored me. He stared the man straight in the eyes and... Smiled.

The man looked slightly worried... He stopped walking towards us.

"I suggest you get the fuck away from us." Said Dan, his voice even and strong. The man started to back away... Dan, a skinny little white boy just defended his even skinner, whiter boyfriend from some tall, muscle man... What.

Dan looked at me and smiled showing his close to perfect teeth.

"How the fuck did you do that?!" I cried, embracing him. He just shrugged and winked. He took my hand and led me of the ice.

*At home, Dan's POV*

I don't really know what happened, I guess my confidence scared them of or something... Lol.

We decided to talk about our Christmas plans. We grabbed the Christmas decorations from the cupboard. Phil tiptoed towards me, tinsel in hand...

"Phil... What are you doing...?"

He ran towards me, wrapping me in tinsel-

"Phil! Put ME DOWN!" I screamed, giggling as he swung me across the living room and onto the sofa. He tied the tinsel up behind my back and leant over me, kissing me passionately. I squirmed, trying to escape. I bit into his lip causing him to pull back. I rolled of the sofa; he came with me, landing on top of me. He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer, kissing my body slowly. I groaned, I knew this would happen again eventually.

"Phil! We're supposed to be putting up the Christmas tree!" I cried, kissing him once more on the lips then sitting up. He pouted at me but stood up.

The tree looked beautiful, all tinsel wrapped, you could tell Phil had done it. I pulled him into an embrace.

"Phil, are you going to your families for Christmas?" I asked, trying not to sound desperate, he pulled away, taking me over to the sofa.

"I want to see them but if you won't spend the day with yours then I want to stay here with you." He whispered, taking my hand in his again. I nodded, that's all I wanted.

"Okay, but I cannot cook the dinner..." I said laughing.

"I'll cook, I used to help mom." He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "But we will have to visit them, it's only fair." I nodded.

"Meep" squeaked Phil, falling to the floor and curling up into a ball.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked, bending down next to him. He looked up slightly then rolled over, jabbing me in the ribs. "Phil! Not again!" I squeaked. Pulling away from him and rushing into the bedroom.

"I'm gonna have a shower!" I called back. "Wanna join me?" I said laughing, not meaning it as a serious thing. Phil walked into the bedroom and began taking his shirt of... Apparently I hadn't put enough sarcasm into my voice. Ah well, maybe I did mean it.

I grabbed some towels and went into the bathroom, pulling of my t-shirt as well. Phil followed me in, slowly unbuttoning his skinnies.

"Do you like it warm or hot?" He asked me, turning the shower knob. I just shrugged letting Phil choose. I started unbuttoning my jeans too... As if this was something we did often. I slipped off my underpants and jumped into the warm water, Phil was wandering around the bathroom trying to find something... He grabbed a small wristband from behind the sink and stood up, pulling off his boxers and skipping over to the shower. He stepped in, running his hair underneath as I had done when I first got in. He got closer to me, grabbing my waist and pulled me into an embrace and that's how we remained, embracing, letting the warm shower run over us. Then I had to ruin it by getting all horny. God Dan. It was romantic. Stupid body. Phil felt it against his thigh; he started kissing me with urgency.


	10. Love Actually?

I awoke the next morning, cuddled up next to Phil. Everything seemed so... Dark.

I didn't know what was wrong with me, for a while now I hadn't felt quite myself. I couldn't have another breakdown. I had to get through this for Phil. I leant over and kissed his soft lips, caressing his pale face.

"I love you." I whispered, getting up from the bed. I decided I needed a walk, just to get us some breakfast.

I got dressed, leaving my hobbit hair as it was. My black ring t-shirt, black skinnies and some converse would do for now. I grabbed my jacket with the biggest hood so that I could hide my face. I put my headphones in and set of down the street. I went into a small takeaway cafe. Obviously I was found by some fans but I chose to ignore them today, I wasn't in the mood and they were giving me a headache. I got a sandwich and some muffins with some hot chocolate for Phil and ran back down the street trying to avoid being stalked.

*Phil's POV*

Dan was gone when I awoke. I couldn't help but be worried. I grabbed my laptop; it was Tuesday so Dan was due a live show. I decided I'd do one earlier and make him join and vice versa. I checked more comments; every Philisnotonfire video was now spammed with 'We knew Phan was canon!' Which it wasn't then. I closed it, went into the living room and switched on the TV. The news came on, someone had murdered an innocent child. What was wrong with society?

The front door clicked open and a flustered Dan walked in. He had two bags in his hands, his hood was up and he was tangled in headphones. "Fans?" I asked, standing up and taking the bags from him. He nodded, pulling of his coat. I took the bags into the kitchen and started sifting through them. He'd bought us breakfast.

"Awh Dan, you romantic." I called into the living room, Dan was laid out on the sofa, flicking through the channels, taking the piss out of almost every show that came on. I put the food on plates and handed one to Dan, making him sit up.

A few hours later and we hadn't really moved. After my live show, Dan had put some gushy romantic film on because I'd made him and I had laid out, head in his lap. I knew he'd fallen asleep and I was glad, I was in tears. He woke up right at the proper romantic, reuniting scene.

"Phil are you crying?" He whispered, his voice tired. He looked down at me through half closed eyes, smiling. I tried to shake the tears from my face but he brushed them away before I could, leaning down and kissing me on the forehead. "You soppy twat!" He laughed, stroking my hair.

"Shut-up- I- It's sad okay!" I cried, stifling a giggle. I leapt up from his lap and ran into the bedroom, the film had just ended and I heard Dan turn it off. It was only 8 o clock but I was tired.

"I'ma take a nap Dan, could you order food or summin?" I called.

"Urm yeah sure, Chinese?"

"Mhm, wake me up in like half an hour." I collapsed onto the bed, the scent of Dan filled my nose and I curled up, his pillow held right to my tummy.

-Phil's nightmare.-

"Dan?" I called. The flat was empty, or so I thought. I could hear stifled sobs from the bathroom. I ran towards it, the flat was flooded with red light.

Dan was laying on the bathroom floor, covered and surrounded by blood, his own. I knelt next to him, his wrists were split right at the vein, and a knife lay nearby.

"Dan why would you do this?" I asked, he didn't respond. His breaths were short and sharp, each one spaced further apart. I closed my eyes and kissed his forehead, wet from my tears. I pulled away, and leaned against the wall. I didn't try and help. I wanted to, I wanted to scream and run for help but I couldn't. I couldn't move. I closed my eyes, shut them tight, wishing away the scene in front of me.

I opened them and found myself back in bed. The flat was bright... and empty. The memory of Dan dying in my arms came back to me. I stood up, I wasn't even dressed. The flat was a mess. Takeaway cartons everywhere, furniture thrown across the room, clothes scattering the floor. I went into Dan's room, it was just how it had been except the bed clothes were ruffled, obviously I'd slept in here. I sat down on his bed pulling my knees to my chest, there was stubble on my chin and I was starving, you could see my bones properly now.

"Why would you do this to me Dan?" I whispered to the wall, tears welled in my eyes. Dan's voice echoed through the room. "Phil. I'm sorry. I love you." Bounced back and forth through the space. His last words, breathy and... Untrue.

"No you didn't! You left me, here, alone. I trusted you and you left me!" I shouted into space. Everything began to spin as memories of Dan swam through my head. His laugh. His dimples. His perfect eyes. His flawless face. The way he'd walk, talk, live. Everything. I knew it all, every feature of his being.

The scene changed in front of my eyes. Dan stood before me alive. I ran towards him and hugged him, gripping him tightly, willing him to do the same but he didn't. He stood awkwardly staring at me. I took his face in my hands and went to kiss him... He pulled away.

"Whoa! Phil what the fuck are you doing?!" He shouted, pushing me away. I tried grabbing at his hand, I could feel myself falling but he pulled backwards. His ex emerged and put her arms around his waist. He kissed her, as if he loved her. I hit the floor, my back and head taking the full intensity of the pain.

"Dan, what about everything we had?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

"We had nothing Phil. I never loved you and I never will. I mean, how could someone like me, love someone like you? We're too different and quite frankly, you aren't even close to perfect." He spat at me, a look of disgust on his face. He turnt and walked away. 'At least he was alive.' I thought to myself, even if he didn't love me he was still here. The room was cold and vast. I curled into a ball. Every image played out in front of me. Him dying, him alive, what had just happened, everything.

I looked up.

I saw myself, years ago, around the age of 14, sitting by myself in the park near my childhood home. I had been crying, the people who had bullied me faded into the background. I shivered as someone touched me on the shoulder. Dan. I turnt around, almost falling of the swing, afraid the bullies had come back but no. He smiled down at me, this perfect stranger. He put his hand out and pulled me up; he sat in the swing next to me.

"I saw what they did to you." He whispered, staring into space.

"I can't defend myself; if that's what you were gonna say." I replied almost in anger, it wasn't everyday random people started talking to you.

"I've seen it happen before, I go to your school, and I'm in the opposite side of the year. Why haven't you told anyone?" He asked, looking towards me. I couldn't help but notice he had a tan, in winter.

"I have. No-one believes me. No-one ever believes me." I cried, turning away.

"Make them! And if you don't well I will!" He shouted, standing up. "Look, I used to be bullied. I don't like seeing other people hurt like that."

"Why do you care? You don't even know my name." I said my voice cracking. Of course he didn't know my name. How could someone as good looking as him know who I am?

"Phil. Your name is Phil Lester and you matter." He whispered, stepping closer.

"How did you know? I mean, Daniel Howell, one of the most looked up to loner guys in the year, why do you even know I exist?" I asked, trying to hide my blush. Daniel was a loner, he didn't have friends, many people didn't like him but no-one dared mess with him. He had this confidence about him.

"I've urm- I've wanted to talk to you for some time. I want to help you..." He trailed off, looking nervous.

"You, want to be my friend?"I asked, not hiding the astonishment in my voice. He nodded, sitting cross legged in front of my swing. "Why?" I asked.

"Because... Well you seem like a cool guy!" He laughed, leaning back slightly, a perfect image. I shook my head in confusion; sure I had friends but... Only a few and a lot of them didn't even like me.

"But... You don't like people I swear?"

"Of course I like certain people and well you're one of them. Come on please, I never ask anyone to be my friend." He smiled at me. I knew he was probably just joking. "I have the new Pokémon back at mine if you wanted to play... I know you like that kind of thing." He said winking, brushing his fringe out of his eyes. I couldn't stop noticing the stupidest of things about him. I nodded frantically; my parents were making me wait until Christmas for that game! He stood up and gestured for me to do the same, he led me to his house, we talked, played games and well for the first time, I felt close to someone.

I blinked as the scene disappeared. That had been how it had all started, the day I met Dan, properly. He stopped the bullying, he helped me make new friends and discover new things, and we were infamous for never being apart and now... He hated me.

*Dan's POV*

I could hear sobbing from the bedroom; it had been almost an hour and a half since Phil had gone to have a nap. I approached the door with caution and swung it open. Phil was writhing underneath the blanket. His face bright red and covered in tears. He was having another nightmare. I leapt towards him, pulling him close and cradling him in my arms.

"Just think about us Phil, come on, you'll be okay." I whispered into his ear, kissing him softly through his tears. He relaxed slightly, a smile spread across his face only to be replaced by anguish.

"I love you Phil." I whispered into his ear, holding back tears. I closed my eyes and squeezed him tighter, willing him to wake up. Then I felt a soft, wet kiss on my nose. I opened my eyes and he was face to face with me. I hugged him tighter than I've ever hugged him before.

"Are you okay?" I heard him say, muffled by my shoulder.

"If you are, then yes."


	11. Break-in

"Well I guess I am..." He whispered.

"You scared the hell outta me, what did you dream about this time?" I asked, letting go and leaning on his shoulder.

"You. I dreamt that I lost you. And the day we met..." He smiled at me, how was that a nightmare? Oh. He must have been dreaming about when we met when he was smiling then... Well I must have left.

"I won't leave you Phil." I said, staring into his ocean blue eyes.

"I woke up because of what you said, you know. I heard you tell me you loved me in my dream, it made me feel better and then I felt you near me and I knew it was over." He kissed me again, wiping the remaining tears from my eyes. I don't understand how I can go from this sarcastic twat to this sweet, romantic. It made no sense but hey, neither did me and Phil. There was a knock at the door, it was the food. I wiped my eyes again and jogged to the door, quickly paying the man.

"Dan! What about your live show?"Asked Phil as I approached him with the food.

"We can do it now, I was waiting for you." I whispered, handing him a container filled with noodles. I grabbed my laptop and tweeted, facebooked and tumbled about my live show.

"Hello guys!" I called as my face was broadcasted all over the world to thousands of people.

"Hi!" Said Phil, through a mouthful of food. The chat exploded, everyone was talking about how cute Phil was, etc.

"So... What should we talk about fellow internet homos?" I chuckled, winking at the camera. "Placenta?!"I read from the chat.

"Dan your fans are the strangest..." Whispered Phil. "Well our fans... Oh gosh." He started laughing again. "Wait! We need to make this more Christmassy!" He cried, leaping of the bed and running to get tinsel. He wrapped it around his shoulder then wrapped it around mine, a huge smile plastered on his face. "There. Christmassy!"

I sighed and facepalmed, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. The chat exploded... Again. I blushed and rolled backwards in a fit of laughter. Phil seized the opportunity and grabbed my neck, causing me to instinctively defend myself. I grabbed his hands and tied the tinsel around them as tight as I could.

"So... What should we do now guys?" I asked staring into the camera, my eyes as big as possible. I started creasing with laughter and fell back onto Phil who joined in. I could just tell this was what the entire live show would be like.

"DAN HAS A HICKEY!" Was spamming the chat. Shit. I forgot about that...

"Calm down guys! Phil's alot stronger than you think..." I trailed off giggling awkwardly and winking into the webcam. Phil's face was shocked, his eyes were huge.

"Dan! Get this stuff of off me!" I did, placing it decoratively on the bed behind us. Then there was a knock on the door. I turnt to look at Phil who looked just as confused as I must have.

"Brb guys!" I said, jumping of the bed and jogging to the door, my trousers hanging really low as always. I opened the door with caution only to find my little brother Adrian standing there, soaking wet.

"Ade! What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked, moving and allowing him past.

"Mum and dad were driving me insane so I thought I'd come and see you and Phil..." He trailed off, shaking his long wet hair.

"You could have warned me, I would've got you a bed ready. Oh and you really need your hair cut..." I walked past him and into my bedroom where Phil was sitting staring into the webcam and talking.

"Urm Phil, Ades here..."I said, trying to sound normal but my voice was quiet. Ade came in behind me, he was like my double except shorter and with longer, lighter hair and paler skin. He smiled at Phil then went and sat next to him... Then realised Phil was live.

"Whoa! Dan got paler..." Was spamming the chat. I jumped into view, shoving Ade out of the way, the Danasours would go insane if they knew about my brother.

Too late.

"Yes guys it's my brother Ade, come say hi you idiot!" I said, pulling him towards the screen. He waved awkwardly then leant back against the wall and took out his phone.

After half an hour of awkwardness and me and Phil trying to stop ourselves from kissing etc. The live show was over. I closed my laptop and turnt towards my idiot brother.

"So. Much. Sexual. Tension." He whispered, winking at Phil, who giggled awkwardly.

"Shut up! Anyway, why didn't you tell me you were coming?" I whispered, sitting cross legged opposite him.

"I texted you and you didn't reply so I came anyway..." He smiled but continued staring at his phone. I sighed and lay down, putting my head into Phil's lap, staring upwards into his eyes. He frowned slightly, bending down to kiss me on the forehead.

"So... Why don't we play Xbox?" Asked Ade, standing up. I nodded, doing the same and taking Phil's hand for comfort.

We played Skyrim and other games until 3 in the morning. Phil had crashed on the couch an hour after we started playing. He wasn't a fan of these kinda games.

"I guess we should go to bed..." I yawned, pausing the game. Ade nodded.

"Where am I sleeping?" He asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Phil's room, he sleeps in with me now." I whispered smiling. Ade nodded and walked off towards Phil's room, his skinny jeans hanging as low as mine always did.

"Phil?" I whispered, taking his hand. "It's time to go to bed." I grabbed underneath his shoulder and pulled him towards me until he was standing, leaning most of his body weight onto me. I led him towards the bedroom, pulling of his jeans and doing the same. It was like having a kid. He smiled in his sleep, looking innocent as ever. I curled up next to him, as close as possible. He swung around, his arms went straight around me, and we fit perfectly together. I pulled my knees up to my stomach and he put his legs underneath mine, we were basically a huge ball of limbs. I kissed him lightly on the lips and buried my head into his chest. I just felt like crying.

"Dan?" Phil whispered as I tried to cover up a sob.

"I'm fine." I replied, hiding my face.

"I know you aren't. What's wrong?" He stroked my hair, trying to calm me down.

"I hate life. I seriously hate it, you and my fans are all I live for."

"I'm glad I'm one of your reasons to live. But you have so much more to live for. Your future, your family, your friends, meeting new people, everything with us. It's worth it. I love you." He rushed, pulling me even closer. I couldn't speak, of course he was right but I had no idea why I felt like this! The guy I'd loved for years loved me back, we were together, I should be happy but something wasn't right.

The next morning Ade came in and woke us up. He was blushing like crazy when he realised we were both half dressed and literally as close as we could possibly get.

"We'll be out in a minute" I whispered, my voice hoarse. I curled back up next to Phil, kissing his neck. He ruffled my hair and jumped up; I never understood how he had so much energy in the morning!

He pulled on a pair of _my_ jogging bottoms and skipped out of the room. I just turnt around and went back to sleep.

Phil woke me up about an hour later, it was only half 11!

"Dan are you coming home for Christmas?" Asked Ade the moment I stepped into the room.

"Urm well I thought I'd spend it with my boyfriend this year but we'll be over to visit, I promise!" I said, it was the first time I'd openly referred to Phil as my boyfriend.

Ade just nodded and turnt back to his phone.

"When are you going home?" I asked, trying not to sound too keen.

"In about five minutes actually. That's why Phil woke you up." He stuck his tongue out, mimicking the' :P' smiley.

I nodded and went to make tea. Ade left soon after.

"I need'a film a quick Christmas video Phil" I said, leaving the room without waiting for a response. I knew he wanted to use the camera but I wouldn't take that long!

A vlog would be all I wanted to do today.

-Dan's Vlog-

"Hello internet. So, before you guys die of waiting I guess I'll have to explain more about me and Phil." I sighed. "I, as you all have guessed, have indeed fancied Phil for years. I just never thought anything would come of it and well being me... I didn't notice any signs. So a few weeks back me and Phil kissed. It just kinda went on from there. I literally never imagined I would be filming this vlog..." Awkward jump cut.

"So, just to re-assure all you Phillions, I will look after him so don't you worry. I do love him and I promise I won't hurt him... And to all you 14 year old Danasours... It ain't happening, accept it. I got my man now..." I laughed at the camera, then pulled a serious face. I'd cut that out in editing. Phil walked into the room. "I love him okay, and I hope you guys accept that!" Phil came up behind me and hugged me, kissing my cheek. "Phil my neck!" I said, cringing uncomfortably, he let go and sighed into the camera.

"You really are a pain Dan, I just wanted a kiss!" He pouted at the camera, immediately putting on his 'innocent' act. He laughed and walked out of the room, I guess I'll keep that bit in. I just looked into the camera, I was blushing. "So urm, me and Phil will film you guys a little merry Christmas vlog on the day, not that he knows yet but... Obviously I'm spending it with him now so... Anyway, I'm sorry this is so short but I'm having to deal with like 16789 things right now and well my head might just explode." I made a 'srs bsnss' face at the camera, I would edit in an explosion after. "Bye guys!" I ended the video at that. I added in a few jump cuts of me being and idiot and making various 'attractive' faces then handed the camera to Phil.

"I reckon we should do a Philisnotonfire video" He said smiling. I agreed and after a shower and getting into our onesies, we sat in Phil's room, in front of the camera, drawing cat whiskers on, again.

"Hello guys, it's time for another... PHILISNOTONFIRE!" *Explosion*

"Me and Dan decided to ask you guys to give us some questions and well the response was amazing, as always! So, first ones for you Dan... Would you rather, be with Delia Smith or Phil on Christmas?"

"Hmm, that's a tough one. A creepy old placenta lady or my perfect boyfriend." I sighed into the camera, Phil was bright red. "Really Phil?" I turnt to him and slapped him on the shoulder.

"Well I thought it was a decent question!" He argued, pouting cutely at the camera. "Hmm okay, my turn!"

"Dare. I dare you to play gay chicken with Dan, without backing away!" I winked at Phil who didn't look too pleased; I'd rejected him last time. I pulled the hood up on my onesies and lay out, placing my bare leg in front of Phil. "Go ahead..." I smiled devilishly at the camera. He leant over and stroked my bare leg, blushing deeper and deeper shades of red. I grabbed his hand in mine and pulled him closer, kissing his lips quickly then turning back to the camera. "Alright, next one for me Phil!" I called, he was still sitting looking shocked.

"Urm yeah... Dare. I dare you guys to show us your collar bones." Really? I pulled my onesies down slightly and pulled a seductive face at the camera

Phil burst out laughing and collapsed onto the bed behind us.

"Your turn. Would you rather... Be raped by a llama with Dan's face or a Lion with Dan's body?" He gave me the weirdest look.

"Urm well... As lovely as your face is Dan technically a llama's body couldn't rape me so..."

"Phil I wasn't expecting a logical answer..." I said laughing. He blushed and smiled awkwardly.

"For the record, you have a perfect face." He whispered, coming closer and kissing me on the cheek.

"Anyway, my turn Phil!" I cried, shoving him playfully.

"Urm okay, would you rather... Eat squirrel poop or lick a lions bum hole?"

"What the fuck internet!" I cried slamming my head into my hands.

There was an awkward jump cut.

"So I have a game for you Dan. I'm gonna blindfold you, spin you round and hide. You have to find me!" He grabbed a pair of his pyjamas, tied them round my face and spun me until I felt sick then disappeared. I walked around the room a few times, until I realised he was under the bed. I crouched on the floor and reached under, grabbing his t-shirt and pulling him towards me. He wriggled out and flopped down onto the floor next to me. I took his hand in mine and edged closer, letting him lean his head on my chest. The blanket from the bed had fallen during the struggle so I pulled it underneath our necks.

Phil started kissing me again. I couldn't help myself. I sat up, leaning over him and started unzipping his onesie.

"Dan! The camera!" He cried as I bit down on his neck. I just shrugged... I didn't even care.

I pushed towards him, engulfing his body in mine. Kissing every part of his torso whilst he squirmed and groaned beneath me. This would be awkward to watch back later. I allowed Phil to slip out of his onesie, doing the same.

A few hours later, we lay in bed, snuggled up together. I'm pretty sure the neighbours hated us by now but I didn't really give a fuck.

We finished filming the new video and Phil went off into his bedroom to edit because quite frankly I was pretty shit at it.

I spread out on my bed, pulling my laptop close. I felt as though I'd neglected my twitter a bit over the past few days.

I simply posted: Well, I'm pretty sure our neighbours hate us now. I'm not surprised, we did make a lot of noise;D Oh well AmazingPhil, there's alot more where that came from...

There were so many responses within a second and some where I literally had to facepalm and shout internet.

I switched the laptop off and turnt the light off, curling up into a ball. My stomach grumbled but I didn't want to eat, I realised I hadn't barely eaten in days, I didn't even care. I guessed Phil had noticed, he kept squeezing my waist and poking my ribs as if there was something wrong with them. My head pounded due to lack of food and sleep but I tried to ignore it. Phil wouldn't be in for quite some time, it'd give me some time to think. I wasn't having weight issues, i just didn't feel like eating I guess, I normally ate like a fricking horse.

I guess I didn't know how I felt. I fell asleep for a bit, waking up to a scream. I ran into the living room, in only my underpants to see Phil staring at the mess. The whole room had been trashed. It didn't look as if anything had been stolen but the broken window indicated someone had been here. I walked over to Phil who looked terrified, this was one of the other things he feared. I grabbed his waist and held him closer.

"Have you called the police?" I asked, rubbing his back empathetically. He shrugged, I knew he hadn't, he looked terrified. I grabbed my phone of the sideboard and sat Phil on the sofa. I dialled 999 and waited. The police car had arrived just as I got dressed. Phil explained what had happened, he'd been editing, I'd been asleep and neither of us had heard. He said he'd had his headphones up really loud and he came out to get a drink and saw this. The officer took notes and handed us a card with a number on it, an insurance company.

He left after the window had been temporarily taped up. I crawled over to Phil who was sitting on the floor staring at the window, his face expressionless.

"I feel really fucking selfish right now." I whispered, putting my arm around him.

"Why?"

"You're dealing with everything. I haven't seen you cry once. And I'm here all like 'depressed' because I can't cope. You've faced your fears and what have I done? I've sat here and not even tried to deal with any of this, I'm the worst boyfriend. I'm sorry." And with that, I stood and left the room.

Phil didn't follow; I could hear sobs coming from the living room. He'd finally broken. I ran towards him and jumped on his back hugging him.

"I'm sorry... I know I've said that a lot."

"Its fine Dan, I love you too much to stay angry." He whispered, kissing me on the cheek.


	12. Barbie Lookalikes and Pizza

_Heya, so I know this is kinda late and it might not be so great because I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN LIKE A WEEK ._. So anyways... Enjoy:3_

*Phil's POV*

After everything that had happened I was kinda glad that Christmas was finally here! I'd bought Dan the onesie for Christmas so I didn't really have to buy him anything and I was making dinner so instead I bought the lord of the rings box set and addressed it to both of us. I left Dan sleeping on the sofa, it was two days before Christmas and we really needed to get the food in. I took the bus to the closest Morrison's.

Shopping was a boring task. I hated it but I knew Dan wouldn't go, too much physical activity for him. I walked in with my trolley, it was packed. I could barely move. Well fuck... I hated crowds. That's why we always stayed backstage at YouTube gatherings. I just needed to get the food and get out, easy enough. 'You can do it Phil!' I said to myself.

I rushed into the crowd and grabbed what I could, half an hour later and I was at the checkout. I noticed a girl about my age, working at the store, staring at me. She bit her lip and twirled her obviously bleached hair and started walking towards me, her orange complexion standing out. I looked around and tried to avoid eye contact but too late.

"Hey, urgh need any help?" She whispered, placing her hand on her hip and thrusting her chest out.

"Urm no... Thanks." I replied.

"Sure? It's no problem... I can help maybe bag these?" She sounded slightly breathless... I figured she wasn't gonna leave me alone.

"Urm okay then. Thanks." I said, still being polite. Goddamit.

She giggled and stood next to the trolley. I noticed she had bubblegum in her mouth. She leant over, her low cut top revealing a little bit too much. I turnt away, taking out my phone and texting Dan.

'Being flirted with by a freaking wannabe Barbie. Help?3' I typed as fast as I could, she came and stood next to me just as it sent.

"Who're you texting? A girlfriend?" She asked.

"Urm no..."

"Oh so you don't have a girlfriend?" I shook my head. "Good looking guy like you? Hows that possible!" I laughed nervously... I wasn't technically lying I mean if she asked if I was single I'd tell her. It was finally my turn at the checkout. The women stared at the till and passed the items over, the other girl packing them up. I felt my phone buzz, it was Dan, thank goodness!

'Urm okay... Meet you there? I've already left so you'll have to wait;)x' At least I wouldn't be alone much longer. It was only a 10 minute bus ride.

I grabbed the bags after paying and went and stood near the window, so I could see if Dan arrived. The bus shelter was directly outside so I'd know if he did. The girl followed me.

"So... What's your name?" She asked.

"Phil, yours?" I replied quickly.

"Morgan... Do you live near here?"

"About 10 minutes away, I'm waiting for someone to meet me..."

"Oh that person you were texting?" I nodded. "So... You're really single?" I guess I'd have to say something, she might leave me alone.

"Urm no..." I smiled and turnt towards the window. Dan was waving frantically and walking towards the door.

"That your friend?" She gestured towards Dan, a blush creeping up her neck. Of course she found him attractive as well, she couldn't take her fricking eyes of him as he walked. I nodded.

Dan came up to me, smiling with his perfect teeth. I picked up the bags and handed half of them to him. He leant over and kissed me on the cheek, blushing at the girls stare.

"Urm... Hi?" He said, holding back a laugh. The smile disappeared from her face and was replaced with shock.

"But- You- Friend? Ha? Wha-." She spluttered.

"Now Phillip, leading all these girls on again? Trust you, you just can't keep them away! Too bad you have a boyfriend!" Dan said sarcastically, winking. "Anyway, it'd be lovely to stay and chat but we really must be getting home. Nice meeting you!" And with that he shifted all 3 bags onto his left arm and took my hand, pulling me out of the shop. He waited until we'd gotten to the bus stop to look back. The girl had gone, she was leaning on a checkout nearby looking pretty flustered and confused. Dan let out a laugh and sat down.

"So, is that the kinda girl you're into Phil?" Dan winked at me.

"Actually, I think you'll find I'm not into girls at all..." I blushed, hitting him hard on the arm with my free hand.

"Jesus Christ! How much food did you buy?" Asked Dan, he was carrying three bags and I had two larger ones. I pouted at him and took out a giant box of maltesers from one of the bags I was carrying.

"Danteasers, my second true pairing!" I said, putting them back into the bag. Dan pouted at me and reached for the sweets."You'll have to wait until we get home!" The bus came and 10 minutes later we were almost home.

Dan sighed at me and skipped ahead, Dan wanted coffee, as always. I noticed that he seemed a lot happier... Maybe the Christmas spirit had gotten into him!

I sat on a bench near our place, freezing my ass off because Dan was taking forever and I only had a thin jacket. I would have gone inside but Dan insisted that I wait here with the shopping, and besides he had the keys. He jogged back over to me a huge smile plastered on his face. He handed me a cinnamon hot chocolate and sat down.

"Dan, can't we go in? I'm freezing!" I whined.

"No, Phil, look!" He pointed towards the orange horizon. The sun was setting. He took my hand and came closer, allowing me to lean my head on his shoulder.

"A picture perfect moment." He whispered, kissing my hair softly. The yellow, orange sky slowly dimmed then faded, leaving only the dark behind.

"I've made us some dinner reservations for 6, we better take this shopping up." He said, shifting his weight underneath me. I stood up, picked up my bags and started walking towards the house.

"What are we gonna eat?" I asked.

"Italian, that new place down the road, now, go get changed!" He whispered at me, taking the other bags and heading for the kitchen. Why was he being so nice?

I changed into my favourite pair of black skinnies and my best chequered top, straightening my hair again and making sure my skin was soft. Dan walked in as I applied some moisturiser.

"Moisturise! Moisturise! Rub it good!" He sang dancing around my room; his sweatpants hanging somewhere near his knees. I gave him the dirtiest of looks, ran towards him and squirted the cream all over his shirt and trousers.

"PHIL!" He shouted, flicking some of it back at me.

"I think you need to change Dan, you're clothes are a bit urgh... Messy." I winked, putting the lid back on the cream and sitting on my bed. He stormed out of the room, but I could hear giggling from his room. I followed him in. He was standing in front of his wardrobe, he'd changed into a pair of deep purple chinos and stood half naked, poking at his ribs. I put my arms around him and took his hands in mine.

"Do you think I need to lose weight, or am I too skinny?" He whispered; a look of concern on his face.

"Well, I think you're perfect." I kissed him on the neck and lay my head there for a few moments.

"Of course you'd say that..."

"I say it because it's true, now stop it. Please?" He nodded and smiled apologetically. "Now hurry up and get changed, we need to leave soon." I kissed him once more then left the room.

*Dan's POV*

"Well, I think you're perfect." He whispered, leaning on my shoulder. Of course he thought that, he wasn't exactly going to tell me any different, was he? I didn't really know why but I'd always hated the way I looked. I don't understand why thousands of fangirls around the world think I'm good looking.

"Of course you'd say that..." The moment it was out, i regretted saying it.

"I say it because it's true, now stop it. Please?" I nodded and smiled apologetically. "Now hurry up and get changed, we need to leave soon." He said coldly, kissing me with stiff lips.

I threw on my black ring t-shirt and my black vans. I checked myself in the mirror once more. My hair, plank straight and slightly fluffy on top, my clothes ironed to the point of being burnt and my shoes shining, literally. I guess I'd do.

"Phil?" I called walking into the living room. He was standing by the window, talking on the phone. His face was bright red and a stupid smile was plastered on his face.

"Shutup! N- Yeah, definitely, we'll have to meetup soon! Do that collab we keep talking about? Ye-No... Urm he's busy that day, maybe another time. Okay, talk to you soon bye!" He giggled slightly and took the phone from his face as he did so I saw a flash of the contact. Carrie Fletcher. I walked backwards slightly then re-entered the room.

"Who're you talking to bby?" I asked, a fake smile covering up my real feelings. The colour drained from Phil's face before being replaced with a smile.

"Just an old friend from back home, they just started youtube, wanted me to collab with them next time I go home." He smiled, I couldn't help but admire Phil for being such a good liar.

"Mmkay, well we gotta go now.." I trailed off, grabbing my jacket and speed walking out of the door. Phil skidded towards me down the corridor, his skinny arms flailing. He caught up with me as I got in the lift and grabbed my hand, squeezing it re-assuringly, I guessed he saw my expression.

We arrived at the Italian restaurant about 5 minutes later, the restaurant was pretty empty, luckily. We sat down in a booth near the back and ordered drinks. Phil obviously had to go for the coke float, he was just like an innocent child sometimes.

"I need to go to the loo, be right back!" He said, squeezing my knee under the table and getting up, he made the mistake of leaving his phone there. I leaned over to check it then realised I probably only had a few minutes I mean I was probably just being stupid anyway. He loved me; he'd loved me for years... Right? Right. But that doesn't explain why he was blushing and why he had that smile on his face, the same one he'd had when we'd first kissed. Thoughts flew around my head, one by one making me more paranoid until I had a headache.

"Dan?" Said Phil, waving his hand in front of my face. I snapped back to reality. "You okay?" He caressed my leg under the table causing me to flinch, he gripped tighter.

"Fine, should we order?" I squeaked.

"Yeah, let's just share a pizza, I know you've lost your appetite a bit lately." He smiled re-assuringly at me, ordered the food and shuffled towards me. I leant my head on his shoulder, trying to push all thoughts out of my head and just think about our date.

The food arrived, Phil was right. I had one and a half slices before I felt full. He ordered us an ice cream to share, I only had a few mouthfuls.

"Please, eat some more Dan. I'm worried about you." He whispered, dropping his spoon to the table.

"I'm just not that hungry, no need to be worried." I said, plastering a smile onto my face. He sighed and kissed me on the head, I knew he didn't believe me but hey, at least I was telling the truth. And there I go again making myself feel worse.

The waiter cleared up the table, it was almost half past 7 now. Phil stood up and put on his jacket, pulling me up by my hand and putting mine on because I hadn't moved. He took my hand and led me home, not letting go when we got in. He pulled me into his bedroom and sat me down on his bed. I just went along with it. He pulled off my jacket, shirt and jeans, throwing me a pair of pyjamas to put on, which I did. He then lay me down in his bed and covered me with his duvet.

"I'm going to pop to the chemists and get you some sleeping tablets, I think they'll help." He whispered kissing my head. The door slammed and I was alone again. I sat up and looked over to his bedside cabinet. His phone was there, it vibrated as I leant towards it. I unlocked it and read the message.

'Phil, I know we didn't talk that long ago but get your but on facebook! We need to plan what we're gonna do in that collab yet and I haven't seen you since the party!:(xxx. –Carrie x'

The party? I swear she wasn't even there! Then I realised, there had been a moment, well hour, where Phil had gone off with someone. I'd been left with Peej and Chris and he had disappeared, he said he'd just been hanging out with Luke and Jason and trying some parkour, that's why he was bright red.

I flicked through his phone, checking the messages he'd sent to Carrie. I came across one particular message which made tears sting in my eyes.

'You're with Dan?! I geuss I'd always known this would happen but Phil, what about how you said you felt about me? I told you I felt the same way I mean I didn't say it in so many words but I do:/ Call me. Xxx'

Right, this couldn't go on any longer. When Phil got in, I'd tell him I knew.


	13. Srs Bsnss

Hellos guise. So yeah, it's been a while. I had to include Jason (Veeoneeye- you should check out his channel;D) and Lukeisnotsexy (His too;D) In this because I met them and yeah I wanted to fit them in somehow x3 I hope you like and I'll post the next chapter like tommorow!

*Phil's POV*

After dinner, Dan was like a robot. He kept rubbing his temples and his face was expressionless the whole way home. I decided he needed some sleep and left to get him some tablets.

I got halfway down the road and realised I'd left my phone. Shit! What if he needed me? I jogged to the pharmacy and back, just in case. When I went into my room Dan was sitting cross legged on my bed, his cheeks stained with tears and a look of disgust on his face.

"How could you Phil." He said. How could I what?

"What?"

"Carrie, really? I mean... I thought we had something special." Then I realised... He must've looked through my messages. I knew something hadn't been right with him since the phone call... He knew I'd been lying.

"Dan, I can explain!" He had to be rational and listen at least! It wasn't what it sounded like, at all!

"Really Phil? Are you seriously gonna try and dig yourself out of this hole?!" He shouted standing up from my bed and staring me straight in the eyes.

"Yes. Dan, I used to like her. Then, with what happened with us I realised I didn't. She persisted and said she'd made a mistake and was sorry, we're just friends Dan, I don't like her like that."

"Friends?! What about the party?! You disappeared for an hour and I didn't see her at all, you were with me the entire time, apart from when you supposedly went and did some 'parkour' with Luke and Jason."

Shit, I'd forgotten about that.

"She cornered me Dan. She tried kissing me and I had to run, Luke and Jason saw and said they'd keep it a secret because I knew you'd react like this, then when we'd lost her, I did actually try some parkour with them. She apologised and we're JUST FRIENDS. Okay?!" I cried, tears streaming from my own eyes. Dan just stared at me, his face unchanging until his eyes closed and tears fell from them. He fell backwards onto the bed, shuffled to the corner and curled up into a ball. I edged towards him, grabbing my iPod and headphones from the bedside table. I lay behind him, putting my arm over him and around his waist, and using the other one to insert the headphone into his ear. I flicked through my music until I found the song I wanted. The song Dan had played through the house last time we'd had an argument. I leant in closer and whispered the lyrics into his ear. Kissing him every now and again.

'The way that we are  
It's the reason I stay  
As long as you're here with me  
I know we'll be Ok.

They say that love is forever  
Your forever is all that I need  
Please stay as long as you need  
Can't promise that things won't be broken  
But I swear that I will never leave  
Please stay forever with me'

I knew this was my fault, I should have just made it clear to Carrie that nothing was going to happen between us and look what I'd done now, Dan was probably twice as afraid as he was before that I was gonna leave him. This was the first time the thought had seriously crossed my mind. I loved him, with all my heart and more but I'd caused him so much pain, if I stayed with him I'd surely hurt him again, but if I left well I'm scared of what he'd do.

No, I couldn't leave. Selfish as it was, I needed him.

"I love you Dan. I'm sorry. I should have told you." I whispered, pulling the headphone out of his ear and kissing him on the cheek. He didn't respond, just stared blankly at the wall, tears falling from his eyes. I sat up and leaned against the wall.

"Please answer me." He turnt slightly and shrugged.

"You've hurt me Phil." He said finally, sitting up and staring blankly at the wall.

"I never meant to Dan. Please, don't do this." I could feel tears running down my face now, I knew he was gonna break up with me. Dan was never serious and now, his face was blank and cold.

"Don't do what?" He asked, turning towards me, a look of genuine surprise on his face.

"Don't breakup with me."

"I wasn't going to you twat!" He laughed, that perfect, familiar smile returning to his face, soon replaced with that vacant expression he'd worn for some time now. I didn't respond, maybe he was just waiting until after Christmas?

"Why not?"

"Because I love you for fuck sake. You've messed up Phil, but I have before now and you never stayed angry at me." He shifted slightly closer, I wanted to reach out and hold him but I didn't want to move in case he walked away.

"But you've never messed up like this; you've just made silly mistakes. I basically cheated!"

"Cheating is when you are actually with someone else, you weren't. Look, Phil, you can argue with me all you want but I'm forgiving you and there's nothing you can do about it." He shifted even closer, clearing the small amount of space between us but still not making contact. I couldn't stand it any longer. I put my arm underneath his and wiggled so he had his arm around me. I cried into his chest, still upset about what I'd done. Sometimes I hated being this selfless.

"Hey, calm down, look it's okay, I'm sorry I over reacted. I love you too, and I mean that." He whispered kissing my hair softly. I think I finally understood how Dan had been feeling this whole time. The thought of losing him made me feel physical pain now. I guessed that if he'd have me then who am I to ruin that? I'll stay, forever with him.


	14. First Christmas

*Next Day Dan's POV*

I woke up the next morning, Phil held in my arms. He pouted cutely in his sleep and let out a snort. I edged him out of my grasp and slid of the bed, heading for the shower.

I turnt the water on, freezing cold, and just stood there. I needed to think. 10 minutes later...

"Dan?" Phil called.

"In the shower."

He came in and sat down on the loo, pulling his knees up to his chest.

"It's Christmas eve ya'know. We haven't given Peej or Chris their presents yet." He said finally. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped my towel quickly around my waist.

"Well, we'll be seeing them on new years, we'll give it them then." I smiled, wiping my face on my towel.

"Danyul! Your eyes are all red again, have you been crying?" He frowned at me, tears filling his eyes.

"No! I'm fine!" I cried, stepping closer to him and wrapping my dripping arms around his waist, placing a quick kiss on his cheek. He pulled me in closer, slowly stroking my wet hair.

"Philip! Lemme go dry my hair then we can cuddle!" I cried, jabbing him in the ribs and pulling away.

"I'll put the turkey in for tomorrow then... Movie day?" He smiled, awaiting my nod then ran towards our dvd box.

I quickly threw on a pair of pyjamas and blow dried my hair, no straightening, Phil liked the hobbit hair. I could hear the Kill Bill sound track playing loudly through the living room and the slight crackle from the small fireplace. Phil was stretched out on the larger sofa, he'd pulled the curtains shut and switched the lights of so only our randomly place Christmas decorations were lit up. Well, he sure knew how to win my heart. I gulped as I approached him and sat down, sliding into his arms.

"Mwahaha! Finally taking my advice about the hobbit hair, ha?" He whispered into my ear, nibbling slightly on my neck. I shivered at his touch and shuffled closer, acting as if I was cold. We watched a few kill bill films and before I knew it, Phil had fallen asleep. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall, just past midday. Food.

I slipped out of his grip, trying not to wake him and ran off to the kitchen. There was next to nothing in, not counting Christmas food. Well fuck, Phil evidently didn't consider how we would live for the next few days.

"Dan?" He called.

"Phil you turnip, you forgot to buy non-christmas food!" I called back.

"Are you looking in the right place Dan?" He walked in and slid his arms around my waist, standing on his tiptoes because he was slightly shorter than me.

"Well yes, is this not the food cupboard Philip?"

"No Dan, I told you, this is the Christmas food cupboard... This one..." He let go and walked to the opposite side of the room and opened another cupboard. "...Is everyday food!" He pulled out some chocolate bars and crisps and fizzy drinks, pushed me along with his foot back into the living room and sat back down. I sat next to him and leant over, stealing a chocolate, crisps and a fizzy drink.

"Another film?" He asked, I nodded, stuffing the entire chocolate bar into my mouth. It wasn't maltesers, but hey, it'd do.

We watched Despicable Me, another one of Phil's favourites, followed by like three romantic (Cheesy) Christmas films, more takeaways and cuddling. It was half 11 by the time we'd finished.

"Phil! Only half an hour til Christmas!" I cried, waking him up immediately.

"YES!" He screamed, grabbing my hand and yanking me on top of him. "You wanna unwrap your present at midnight?" He squeaked, his face filled with joy. I nodded and tried sitting up but he pulled me into a bone crushing hug. "Can't you just smell the Christmas?"

"Phil, it's two minutes past midnight now you turnip!" I laughed, shuffling out of his arms. He leant over, taking my chin in his hands and kissed me softly on the lips.

"Merry Christmas Dan." He whispered.

"Merry Christmas Phil." He leapt of the sofa, grabbing the smallest present from under the tree and throwing it towards me. I started unwrapping it immediately as Phil slid back onto the sofa. "I know I got you the onesies but don't worry, I used the money from our shared savings account to get this one because well I felt like we needed something... Just open it." He smiled.

"Phil... I... It's perfect. Thank You." I blushed at the present. It was small gold engraved wristband. "Always." Was written on it with a small heart next to it. Slightly cheesy. It had the date we'd gotten together just above.

"Check the inside." Phil whispered. I looked, 'You love me real or not real?' Was written in the same font, a hunger games quote. "I wanted to mark our first Christmas together and well hopefully... The first of many." He coughed awkwardly and ruffled his hair trying to avoid eye contact.

"I love it Phil, and I hope so too." I lunged towards him, keeping the wristband firmly in my hand and kissed him fast on the lips before pulling him into an embrace. I was telling the truth, I really did hope this was our first Christmas of many. He slipped out of my grip, revealing his own arm. A matching bracelet sat on his wrist but the quotes were longer by the looks of it. I took his hand in mine, after placing the bracelet on my wrist and looked at his. It read; 'After all this time?' On the front and, 'Real.' On the back. The matching lines to the quotes on mine. Nerdy but perfect.

Christmas Day went by fairly quickly. Nothing much, still better than normal. I told him he'd be getting his real present from me on Christmas eve because I hadn't been able to go out and get it. Our Christmas day radio show was a Mahoosive success because of all the Danasours and Phillions breaking the radio one website. After dinner, a couple of drinks, some urm makey outey type things, it was boxing day.

"Dan! Can we go to the London eye for new years? PleasePleasepleaseplease, I love you." Shouted Phil, only his excited eyes and nose poking out from above his laptop.

"Phil, I thought we were gonna spend it with Pj and Chris though?"

"Well... I thought since it's our first together you'd want to spend it just us..." He put the laptop down, revealing a picture of the London eye and some fireworks. "I've been saving up my Christmas money for the last few years and I finally have enough and we can hire out a pod for like a couple of hundred pounds! I've been wanting to do it for years, you know that, please? If you loved me you'd let me!" I sighed.

"Fine, but you better book it soon.."

"DONE!" He screamed, leaping up from the sofa and crossing the room towards me. "We get drinks and foody stuff and it'll be just us and OOH we'll get to see all the fireworks! We can go see Chris and Pj some point in January. I'm sure they'll understand that we want to be together." I couldn't help but laugh at how excited he was, and the butterflies growing in my tummy, you see... I had a surprise for Phil on new years as well.


	15. New Years Eve

STOP. Okay, before you read this I suggest you go and look up the song Ho Hey by The Lumineers because if you don't know it this will make no sense c:

CONTINUE!

-New years Eve-

"Dan, you ready? We need to leave like now!" Phil squeaked from outside my door, he'd been dressed almost all day because he was so excited. 'It's okay Dan, just calm, it's only a small thing and hey it's not like it means anything really it's just... ASDFGHJKL;;' My brain died. I grabbed my bowtie and attempted to tighten it around my neck. Failed.

"Here, let me do it.." Phil said, entering the room, grabbing it and tying it perfectly and with ease.

"Sorry, just kinda nervous." I laughed awkwardly.

"About what you spoon? It's only new year's..!" I coughed.

"Urm the height, that's all." Nice covering up there Dan.

"Oh..Kay.. Well, you ready?" He said, squeezing my hand. I nodded, thrusting my fist into my jacket pocket and biting down on my lip. Why was I so scared for fucks sake?!

"Tickets please." The man, said, holding out his hand. Phil scrambled for them in his pocket, dropped them about 50 times, then finally handed them to the man who nodded towards the entrance. I could literally hear Phil squealing with excitement, as well as the sound of my own heart beating. We were ushered into a pod. There was champagne and some snacks laid out on a temporary bench. I reached straight for the champagne glass but Phil stopped me.

"Wine first dear." He smiled, taking my hand and leading me away from the drink. He poured me a glass of red wine and I downed it in one. It was quarter to midnight and I was pretty much shitting myself. The fireworks started and Phil watched them in awe for a few minutes, his head on my shoulder, my arm around his waist.

"You ready to count down? Only two minutes left!" He whispered. It was now or never Daniel! I edged away from Phil and reached into my pocket retrieving a small black velvet box and enclosing it in my fist.

"Phil, there's something I need to ask you..." He turnt towards me and smiled, his eyes lit up by the fireworks. The sound of the loud bangs outside made next to no noise compared to my heart beat.

"Sure.." He whispered awkwardly. His eyes grew wide and his expression changed as I took his hand in mine, slowly pulling the box out from behind my back.

"Phil, I know we can't actually do this but I'm sure that if it's ever legalized then I want us to and if not we'll go to Canada or something and well what I'm trying to say is... Will you marry me?" I held the box out towards him; I could feel my face burning. Happy New Year chanted from the crowd outside. Moments felt like hours as he stared into my eyes, a tear slipped down his cheek... He's gonna say no, isn't he?

"Yes." He whispered, throwing himself towards me and sealing the deal with a kiss.

I felt our bracelets hit together in my lap as his hand entwined with mine.

He pulled away suddenly, probably remembering we were out in public.

"I love you Dan." He said pushing his head into my chest and allowing me to slip my arms around him. I could feel my shirt slowly get soggier.

"Oh Phil you turnip. Don't cry." I said. I took the box and handed him the ring, he quickly placed the small silver engagement ring on his finger.

"Champagne?" He said winking.

-Next Day, Phil's POV-

I awoke in Dan's arms, a sharp pain sizzling through my head. I didn't really remember much of what had happened last night... The ring! I quickly checked my finger, making sure it hadn't slipped off. Nope, it was still there. The thought of how nervous Dan had gotten over this whole thing brought a smile to my face and caused the butterflies that were now constantly in my tummy to flutter even more.

I shuffled out of the room, realising I was only in my boxers... Urm...

I flicked the TV on and danced around in joy as the top news headline flashed across the screen.

'Laws on Gay Marriage to be Re-thought' Says the Prime minister.

It was almost as though they knew. I ran back into our bedroom and leapt onto the bed, awaking Dan instantly.

"Day in the life video. Now. Get up nooowwww!" I cried, yanking him out of bed, and pulling him in front of the TV. He smiled at the headline, pulling me into a hug.

"We're so famous, even the government want us to be married." He winked at me.

We got dressed quickly and I grabbed the camera. I didn't want there to be any sound on this, just a montage and I had the perfect song for it.

We went to the cinema first, I filmed us walking in, buying the tickets. Afterwards Dan suggested that we explored the area. We went towards an abandoned building site, it was almost finished but nobody had been there in quite a while. Dan ran up the half completed stairs I followed him along. I got some shots of the top of the building and some of Dan and me failing at doing parkour. Dan leaping of the second floor and me jumping of the first which was equally as scary! We went to the park, got some shots there but I felt like there was something I needed to tell the Phillions. We went back to the building site and sat hand in hand right near the edge of the roof. I placed the camera just behind us and as cheesy as it was, I got a shot of us holding hands as the sun set and made sure the engagement ring could be seen. I'm sure someone would notice, start rumours and I'd tell them.

We left for home, Dan napped on the sofa when we got in because that was literally the most exercise he'd done in forever. I went straight to my room and started editing, playing the song I was gonna edit over the top loudly through my headphones.

I took out the wire, trying to wake up Dan to show him the video, Ho Hey by The Lumineers played loudly through the flat. I sang along, trying to annoy him.

"I belong with you, you belong with me you're my sweetheart!" I cried, I could hear footsteps in the corridor. A very disgruntled and hobbit-looking Dan appeared in my doorway.

"Phil, I'm trying to sleep you twat." He said, trying to keep a serious face and failing. I pouted at him and gestured towards the screen.

"I've uploaded the video, I wanted you to see. I thought I'd wake you up with a beautiful serenade." I played the video to him; I could see him smiling out of the corner of my eyes. The footage fit well with the song. I checked the comments and read them out to Dan as he fiddled with a Rubik's cube.

"Oh gosh Dan, one of the top comments is now; Did no-one else see the engagement ring at 2:15? If you did then come ASDFGHJKL;'# with me." I quickly checked our twitters, mine as well as Dan's because I wasn't sure who they'd tweet first. There were a gazillion screenshots of the ring all over twitter now and me and Dan had literally brought people to tears. Most of these pictures captioned with; THE FEELS.

The reaction to it was better than I expected. I decided I'd have to tweet about it as some people were already questioning it.

"So... You liked the new video then? To clear it all up, yes, that was an engagement ring at the end. I'm sorry if I killed you with Phan feels, that wasn't my intention:c"

Dan tweeted something similar; GUISE. I finally proposed to Phil! I managed to do something right and without vomiting on him. I just thought I'd clear that up because I felt the need to take credit for being so romantic :3


	16. A Spiral Of Lies!

(This is still an independant story.. Ignore of you haven't read the other xD)

The next day we decided to go and give Chris and Pj there presents. We arrived at PJ's at about noon, expecting them to act as we did when they came to ours but no... PJ opened the door, they acted as friends...

"Look guise, I shouldn't have said what I did before. It's been killing me for weeks but me and Peej aren't together...I said it because I thought you were joking and well I didn't want to tell anyone I had a girlfriend at the time and I'm sorry. It's just at the time I thought you would breakup soon after and it wouldn't matter. I see now that you really do love each other and I'm sorry. Please don't hate me." Frowned Chris. What a lovely greeting.

"It's fine, we kinda figured it out to be honest. Don't wozzles." Whispered Dan calmly, I was angry, to be perfectly honest. I think he saw the expression on my face because he told them we had to leave really quickly to go see our families. It wasn't a lie but we weren't supposed to be there for hours. We gave them their presents, had a cup of tea and left. My anger subsided as we got outside, Dan managed to calm me down and remind me of all the times we'd had together and other stuff like that.

We were gonna stay at my parents that night and Dan's tomorrows. They didn't know about the engagement yet...

There was only one fault in this plan... My parents were happy for me and Dan but they'd never really liked him. They'd always said he was lazy and arrogant and I could have a better best friend but obviously I never listened to them. Even though my mum sounded happy when we told her, since I said we weren't coming down for Christmas she'd been weird with me. As for my dad well, I wasn't even sure if he knew yet. Dan knew my parents didn't like him.

We arrived at the house. Dan took my hand and squeezed it tighter than ever as I knocked.

"It'll be fine." I whispered re-assuringly. "I belong with you, remember?"

-Dan's POV-

Phil's mum opened the door and greeted her boy with open arms. "PHIL! I've missed you love!" She released him and he took my hand again. "Daniel." She nodded at me. I smiled back.

"Mrs Lester." I coughed. She moved away, allowing us to get past. We went into the kitchen; Phil's dad was sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of tea in hand. He smiled at Phil as he walked in; the smile disappeared as he saw me and our linked hands. I quickly pulled away and smiled at him.

"Now, I know you're only here for one night but I would appreciate if any romantic gestures be kept at a minimum. Okay?" We both nodded, then left to take our stuff upstairs. Phil took my hand on the stairs.

"Dan, I'm sorry about my parents." He whispered, placing his stuff on the bed. He put his arms around me but I pulled away.

"To a minimum, remember?" I said spitefully. He went over and sat on the bed.

"Dan, please don't be like this. I know you don't get along with my parents but-..."

"But nothing. They hate my guts and even if I'm there perfect little boy's boyfriend I'm still never going to be good enough for you Phil."

"Just shut up Dan. You know that's not true. Maybe in their eyes you aren't good enough but why does that matter? I love you Dan, please just be happy with that. If you aren't then, I don't know what else I can do."

"I am happy with that. I just don't like being here Phil." I whined, giving in and going over to cuddle up next to him. His mum barged in through the door the moment our lips touched.

"What are you doing?!" She cried, averting her eyes. Phil blushed bright red and turnt around slowly.

"I was kissing my boyfriend, mum." He said, staring her straight in the eyes.

"Yes, however your father has asked you not to." She said sternly. This was by far the most worked up I'd ever seen her. Even more worked up than the time me and Phil almost fell through the ceiling pretending to be Jack and Rose from the titanic...

"We're in my room mum, I don't see why that's a problem." Phil said, I could tell he was pissed off now.

"It's not right Philip, you know it's not. This is just a phase, this thing with you and Dan. It's nothing and I'm sure you'll both realise that before you go further than just kissing.." She visibly shuddered at the thought.

"We have already mum. We're engaged." He said, standing. He pulled me up next to him, holding my hand. His mums mouth hung open in shock.

"I hope you realise the mistake you've made. Do you really think you boys can live of YouTube money for the rest of your lives?" She crossed her arms and left the room without letting us answer. Phil turnt towards me, grabbed the back of my head and full on snogged me. Dafuq?

I pulled back quickly, gasping for breath. "What on earth are you doing?!" I cried, falling back onto the bed in a fit of giggles.

"Proving to you that I don't give one single fuck as to what my parents think about us." He smiled then pounced on me again.

"We'll only be here until the morning, we can leave first thing." He smiled, laying back and leaning his head on my chest. I nodded.

We awoke the next morning to the sound of Phil's mum pounding on our door. Phil untangled himself from me and got dressed. It was almost 10 and I really just wanted to leave now.

"Phil and Daniel, we would like a word with you." Phil stopped in his tracks and twisted slowly in his half pulled up jeans.

"About what?"

"We'll tell you in a minute now hurry."

We arrived downstairs to find Mr and Mrs Lester sitting patiently at the table.

"Phil, do you really love Daniel?" He nodded and took my hand.

"With all my heart." They nodded back.

"Daniel, do you promise not to hurt Phil and to look after him?"

"Of course I do, I love him." They nodded again.

"I think we're done here then. We've ordered you a cab to take you to Dan's house." And with that they stood and left the room, purposely walking between me and Phil in order to break apart our hands. The cab arrived and we were off to my parents' house.

I hoped my parents would be more accepting of me and Phil. My little brother would be fine with it and I hoped my mum would, again, my dad was the problem.

We still left early in the morning though. We arrived back at our flat around midday, Phil laid out on the sofa and fell asleep immediately. He'd had a bad night at my parents without me. My single bed was too small for the both of us. I needed to film a new video, but finding something to talk about was going to be a problem. I guess I could do a new year's video? New years? New you!

I had signed up to a personal training programme in order to get fit, it's not that I wasn't skinny I just couldn't walk up the stairs without coughing up blood...

Anyway, I awoke Phil about an hour after filming, I needed him to help me edit.

"Leave me alone, Dan." He whimpered as I shook him awake. "I'm not in the mood, tomorrow." He sighed, curling back up.

"Hey, don't be like that. What's wrong?" I stroked his hair, kneeling down beside our sofa. He sighed and shrugged, closing his eyes. I leant my forehead into his back, he pulled away at my touch. Maybe he was regretting this whole marriage thing now he knew there was a possibility it could actually happen.

"Look, Phil... If you don't want to get married I'd understand you know. I mean, it is a big thing after only a couple of months and well I know that sometimes I'm a pain but..."

"Just leave me alone please Dan? I'm tired and I don't wanna talk about this right now, sorry."

"Fine."

I returned to my bedroom, feeling as though I'd finally lost him. I guess I'd known it'd happen eventually. I started to pack an overnight bag, taking my laptop and everything, as well as extra clothes. I left the house silently. I took the first train to Chris' flat.

I'd texted him on the way, telling him I'd need a place to stay overnight, of course being one of my best friends he'd agreed. I knocked on the door, finally allowing the tears that had been awaiting in my eyes to drip down my face.

"Hey Dan!" Chris said enthusiastically as he opened the door, his expression changed when he saw mine. "What's happened?" He whispered, a look of concern on his face as he allowed me past. I wandered over to the sofa, and collapsed, burying my face into one of the huge pillows. "Dan?" He came over, rubbing circles into my back, trying to calm me down. I rolled over and buried my face into his shoulder. I finally managed to stop the tears and sat up properly.

"We just had... Well I don't really know. I think Phil's having second thoughts and I panicked and ran away." I whispered, leaning back into the sofa and covering my tired eyes with my hands.

"What did he say? I mean, he might not've meant it Dan." Chris sighed, turning towards me.

"He wouldn't help me edit, then told me to go away when I mentioned about him having second thoughts."

"Second thoughts about what? You two?" I nodded. "Then he didn't mean it Dan. He loves you, he might just be tired." I shrugged, I didn't believe that for some reason.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I took it out, it was Phil. I hit ignore.

"Hey, don't be so hard on him. This is alot for him to take in to." Chris said, hitting me on the back. He took out his phone, Phil was calling him too.

"Please don't make me talk to him." I asked. He nodded, answering the phone. Phil was almost shouting down the phone.

"Chris! Please tell me Dan's there? I'm so worried."

"Yeah, he's here."

"Thank god. Is he okay?!"

"Yeah, he's just a bit upset."

"Can I speak to him please? I need to know he's okay. He really scared me, leaving like that."

"He doesn't want to speak to you just yet, I'll get him to call you in the morning, I promise."

"But... I won't be able to sleep unless he's here.." Chris sighed, running his hand through his hair.

"Fine." He handed the phone to me.

"Dan?" Whimpered Phil.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Yourself?" I said, hiding all emotion in my voice.

"I'm not so good. Come home, please?" He sobbed.

"I'll be back tomorrow, I think."

"Okay. Well... I love you Dan."

"Night Phil." And I put the phone down.

"You didn't need to be so harsh." Said Chris, standing up.

"He didn't even say sorry. I think I had the right to be 'rude'. Am I sleeping here, then?" Chris sighed and nodded.

I went to the bathroom in order to change. I put my pyjama bottoms on, leaving my top off because it was warm. My eyes were red and bloodshot, tears still welled up in them. I knew what I'd done was horrible but I was hurt by what he said and he needed to understand that.

"Come on Dan, get a grip." I whispered to myself, splashing cold water on my face. I walked back into the living room; Chris had laid out blankets and pillows for me and gone to bed. I retrieved my iPod from my bag and hit play, lying down onto the makeshift bed. Of all songs that could have come on when I hit shuffle, mine and Phil's song came on.


	17. Misguided Ghosts

Sorry its taken so long to update, school is a pain.

*Phil's POV*

I wasn't harsh. I just wasn't in the mood, I was barely awake. I loved him, right, I wanted to marry him. I don't know why he was upset. He wouldn't even tell me he loved me. I decided I'd try and get some sleep, I had to fix this in the morning.

The next thing I knew, I was outside Chris' house. I knocked on the door and Dan opened it, half dressed, his face very... Red.

"Phil, this isn't a good time. Go home." Chris came up behind Dan and put his arms around his waist.

"Who's here babes?" He whispered, kissing Dan's neck and ignoring me.

My jaw dropped. What the fuck?!

"It's just Phil." He said, kissing him back. "Look Phil, could you come back later? We're urm, a bit busy." I backed away from the door quickly, running back towards the train station. I fell down against a wall, barely able to breathe or control my emotions. Dan and Chris? No, I couldn't believe it.

I closed my eyes, tight. When I opened them I wasn't at the wall anymore. I was in Chris' house. Dan was laying on the sofa, crying into his pillow, I could hear our song being played.

"I hate you Phil. I hate you because I love you and I need you." He whispered. I tried to go towards him but I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. I called out his name, but there was no sound. He sat up, his face lit by the moon, tear stained. "I love you Phil."

I blinked away my tears, and opened my eyes. Yes, it was only a dream, I thought as much. I turnt over in Dan's bed. His smell filled my nose. One night away from him and I was a mess. I hoped it'd get better and eventually I wouldn't miss him so much.

"Phil?" I turnt around quickly, Dan was entering the bedroom, his face was tear stained as well. I sat up, flicking on the bedside lamp. He looked from the floor to me, then dropped his bag and leapt on the bed grabbing me and pulling me into a rib-cracking hug.

"I'm sorry I was gone so long." He whispered, I looked at the clock, it was half 2 in the morning. I buried my now soaking-wet face into his shirt. I cried into his shoulder for a couple of minutes before he lay me down, kissing me passionately.

"Dan, it's late... Maybe we should sleep." I whispered as he bit down on my neck.

"But I want to make it up to you..." He said in his attempt at a seductive voice. I tried to say no but my body was responding to his every touch. I let out a withheld groan, which made him even surer of what I wanted. He began taking of my t-shirt, slowly sliding it over my body, whilst trying to kiss every inch of my skin. I gave up with trying to fight back. He pushed down against me, causing my body to thrust towards him, he ran his cold fingers down my spine and laughed as I let out a groan. He came back up to kiss my lips and face, smiling as he did so. I pulled his face towards mine, making eye contact before I took over. I pushed him quickly off of me and started unbuttoning his jeans whilst he struggled to pull down my pyjama trousers. I slid them off with ease and helped him out.

"Are you sure you won't regret this in the morning?" He whispered.

"Not even a little bit." I replied.

He rolled over, allowing me to take this all the way, so I did.

Half an hour later we were cuddled up in bed, half asleep.

"Phil?" Dan whispered, turning towards me.

"Yeah?"

"Do you regret kissing me that first time?"

"Of course I don't! Why would you ask that?"

"Well, it would have been easier, wouldn't it? I mean there would be no complications and we'd still just be best friends. Don't you miss feeling so... I don't know, free of responsibilities?"

"I guess so. But if I hadn't, we both would've just been lovesick and alone for the rest of our lives... Well at least I would've been." I closed my eyes, not wanting to think about this now.

"I guess so. I doubt I would've been able to control my feelings for much longer anyway. If you hadn't of made that first move, I'm sure I would've eventually. Or the shipping would've got us to experiment..." He coughed awkwardly and shuffled over to the other side of the bed, taking my hand with him.

"Are we gonna talk about what happened then?" I whispered.

"I over reacted. Can't we just leave it at that? I don't want to spoil the mood, I'm tired as fuck. Please, can we wait until morning?" He pouted, trying to make his puppy dog eyes work on me.

"Fine, but, we _have _to talk about it; I'm not ruining our engagement because of this." I kissed him on the forehead and curled up behind him.

"You still wanna get married?" He squeaked.

"Of course I do. Now go to sleep Daniel!"

I awoke early the next morning, Dan's scent filling my nose. A single beam of sunlight escaped through a hole in his curtains and cast itself over Dan. It lay just above his hip. His strangely tanned hip which lay uncovered, as did most of the rest of his torso. He'd turnt away from me during the night, but somehow managed to keep my hand in his, he now held it protectively over his heart, his lips pressed to my knuckles, specifically the engagement ring. I could hear moving around upstairs, children, meaning it was roughly 9 in the morning.

"Phil? You awake?" Dan croaked, his voice sounding off.

"Course." I yawned, stretching my fingers and entwining them with his.

"Phil I don't feel so good, could you get me a drink please?" He whined, his voice cracking mid sentence. I nodded and jumped up, running to the kitchen. I slid back into the room holding a glass of water. Dan was sitting up now, his hobbit hair a mess and his face bright red. The cover draped just below his chest, revealing his perfectly tanned skin. I handed him the water, my hands shaking slightly, unable to tear my eyes away from his body.

"Urm Phil, my eyes are up here..." He chuckled, pulling the cover up over his chest. I laughed nervously and climbed in next to him again.

"You feeling okay?" I asked, noticing the croakiness to his voice.

"Meh, my throat hurts and my tummy hurts, I'm dying..." He moaned, dropping the glass onto the bedside table and curling into my chest. "You gonna upload the Philisnotonfire today?" He whispered. I nodded, grabbing my macbook from the end of the bed. I clicked on YouTube, preparing to upload. I started searching for the file when Dan took off the pretty much see through vest top he was wearing, throwing it across the room dramatically. He started kissing at my neck, forcing me to close my eyes to enjoy the feeling. I clicked on the Philisnotonfire file and hit upload, shoving the laptop away from me as Dan progressively kissed lower down my chest, groaning inwardly.

"Phil are you ready yet?" Dan called, I could hear him shrugging on his jacket from the living room. I grabbed my phone from a table on the side, noticing the hundreds of notifications I'd been getting. I ran towards Dan, we were going to meet up with a Radio 1 producer, he'd asked us over to talk about a radio show we could possibly host. We jumped on the first train to the BBC headquarters. I took out my phone on the train, checking my twitter. I looked down my feed, every tweet was either excited or... Disgusted? I quickly checked tweets to me. The hash tag 'Dan and Phil's sex tape' was everywhere. Did they mean Philisnotonfire? I quickly went onto the YouTube app and to my channel. The first video that came up was called Philisnotonfire... But it wasn't. It was a dark bedroom scene; all that could be heard was groans and panting. Nothing could be seen other than every now and again a body part. I had uploaded the sex tape.

"Dan. We have a problem." I said; my voice cracking. He raised his eyebrow at me and took the phone from my hand, seeing how I was staring at it. He watched for a few seconds, and then handed the phone back to me. He slid down further in his seat, bringing his hand up to cover his face.

"Phil. What the fuck have you done!" He cried after a few seconds, jerking his hands towards me. I quickly fumbled for my phone in my lap, setting the video to private as I couldn't delete it from my phone.

"I'm so sorry. Why the hell did I even save that file?!" I cried, smashing my hands against my face. Dan sighed and patted me on the back. "I just got distracted this morning with you and everything and urgh. I always get everything wrong." I said finally, shaking his hand from my back. A women from a couple of seats down gave us a disapproving shake of the head. She clearly muttered under her breath: Stupid faggots.

I looked her straight in the eye, in to much of a bad mood to care.

"What did you just say?" I growled, making sure I kept eye contact. Dan noticed the change in mood, he grabbed my arm, trying to hold me back. The women shrugged and turnt away, a blush creeping up her neck. The train stopped and she hurried off, keeping her head down. The carriage was empty now and we were nearing our stop.

"Hey look its gonna be fine." Dan smiled, placing his arm around my waist and pressing his chapped lips to my forehead. But what if it isn't? I wondered.


	18. DAN IS ON FIRE

*Dans POV*

We arrived at the BBC studios soon enough, we met with the producer. He talked to us about the show. He suggested we do an interactive, complete-video show full of games and socialising. It sounded like a good idea.

"We just have one issue, we know of you two being a couple and it'd be much appreciated if whilst on camera, you didn't use any romantic gestures. Callers will be asked not to mention your relationship as well." We gulped in unison, and Phil nodded, taking my hand in his. I understood why. "Great! So, we have a deal? A two hour show every Sunday? You will have to organise everything that goes on!"

"Sounds good." I whispered.

"Oh, one more issue... About the video you posted this morning Phil... We think it'd be best if you urm deleted it..." He whispered. Phil's face blushed a bright red, he opened his mouth to speak but just nodded. We left as quickly as possible. We spent almost the whole way home discussing ideas for the radio show. Music videos was definitely a good idea we decided. I tried to avoid this mornings incident as much as possible.

"What if my account gets flagged and my channel deleted?!" Phil cried suddenly, awaking a middle aged man across from us.

"It won't calm down. I'm sure YouTube will understand that it was just a mistake. Calm down love, its fine." I whispered soothingly, burying my forehead into his shoulder.

"Dan how do I explain this to my Phillions?! What if everyone unsubscribes?! I'm so close to 600,000." He said solemnly. I hadn't thought about that. I decided I'd tweet something about it, the Phandom would become even more insane if neither of us mentioned it.

"Look its okay. Just let me sort this out okay?" I kissed him lightly on the forehead and took out my phone.

'Right. So we're not gonna pretend nothing happened. Phil uploaded the wrong file, he's been distracted all day and I've not been very well. (c)

I would very much appreciate if no-one saved or copied that file. It has been removed and the REAL video will be up soon. We'd both like to say we're sorry (c)

But Phil's kind of, how do I put this simply... traumatised right now so I said I'd sort this out. Guise, everything's fine. Calm yo' tits.'

"See, everything will be fine love." I whispered, showing him the tweet. He smiled at me, tears evident in his bright, normally child-like eyes. "You look really tired." I sighed, trying to make my concern evident. He plastered on a fake smile and shook his head.

"I'm fine!" He chirped.

A few weeks later and things had pretty much blown over. With the start of the radio show, people had forgotten. We found it difficult to tone down our relationship on camera, secret brushes of our hands, small gestures, and quick kisses of camera were all we were aloud. Even staring into each others' eyes was a no go.

"Dan! Come here, quick!" Phil shouted from the living room, I was still in bed, trying to make up for the hours of sleep I'd lost last night on tumblr. I moaned and rolled over, wrapping myself in Phil's scent. "DAN." He screamed, slamming his feet to the ground and marching into the bedroom. He leapt onto the bed, straddling me. "YOU HIT A MILLION SUBS." He screamed, pulling me into an awkward sleepy hug.

"I... I what?" I yawned, nuzzling the back of his neck. He took my face in his hands, a smile playing on his lips.

"You, my dear Daniel, have just hit 1 Million subscribers on YouTube!" He leant in and kissed me before I could say anything, He was evidently way more excited than I was. He finally let go, rolling of to the side of me and leaning on his elbow, staring up at me with those enticing blue eyes. I turnt towards him, taking his other hand in mine. "Come on! At least pretend to be excited!" He laughed, sticking his tongue out over his lip.

"Of course I'm excited, I'm just tired you spoon!" I giggled, absent-mindedly playing with the ring on his finger. He leant in and kissed me on the forehead, I could feel his smile against my dry skin.

"So, what are you gonna do for your 1 Million video?" He asked. I'd been thinking about it for a while actually, I'd pretty much planned out the entire video in my head. Yes, it was risky and stupid but I knew exactly what I wanted to do. In fact, I'd already made some calls about the setup and it was pretty much ready to go whenever I was. I leant in closer to Phil, my lips practically touching his ear.

"I'm gonna set myself on fire." I whispered, trying not to laugh.

"You can't be serious." He groaned, his head hitting my shoulder. I'm pretty sure he knew I was, and I'm guessing he also knew there was no way to persuade me otherwise. I could be stubborn at times. I fully explained to him my idea, the sexy end screen music video, I'll pretend it failed and set myself on fire and say it was by accident and make a little vlog about what happened. I think Phil was warming up to the idea by the end of the conversation. (Hehe, warming... Get it?)

"Look love, it'll be fine! There'll be trained professionals and all that crap. Trust me." I smiled re-assuringly. We'd moved onto the sofa now but I was still half dressed.

"Fine, but if you burn to death, don't blame me. Mr Danis-_not-_onfire." He laughed, rolling submissively onto my lap. "How about we go out for dinner to celebrate? Maybe have a couple of drinks? We'll be home before the liveshow, promise!" He cooed, stroking my chest and smiling. I nodded, I mean I guessed it was a decent enough occasion, and it meant I didn't have to cook.

"Look at you, you'll do anything to get me drunk and into bed... You know all you'd have to do is ask and I'd say yes but hey, if you prefer this way, I won't complain." I chuckled, winking. The look on his face was priceless. He'd gone bright red, his lips were slightly parted as if he didn't know what to say and his eyes well... They were huge. "It's not that much of a shocker really!" I laughed. Fitting my tongue between the parting in his lips and removing the look of shock with my mouth.

"Oh shutup you, at least I have more decency, I'd never fuck you if you asked. It'll have to be on my terms." He winked. I quickly tried to re-organise my thoughts, what had gotten into him? This wasn't the innocent Phil he presented to the internet! I made an attempt to come up with something witty as a comeback but he stood up and shuffled off into his bedroom before I could. I figured I'd better get dressed.

"We're not going anywhere fancy right?" I asked, placing my hand in his as we walked down the street. He shook his head and signalled towards a small sushi bar that we'd been to a couple of times.

"So you really want me to do this? You really want me to set you on fire?!" He cried across the table, making one last plea with me before I booked the studio. I nodded, shoving a huge piece of sushi into my mouth and almost choking. "What if I say I don't wanna? I mean, setting the guy I love on fire... I'm scared." He whispered, grabbing my hand under the table. I sighed and squeezed his hand, not caring to explain what I already had. It was gonna be safe!

Life is boring so lets skip some more time. Here we are, I'm about to be set on fire.

"Right, now, you've got the protective suit on underneath, correct?" One of the stunt men asked me. I quickly patted my neck, gesturing at the thick roll of odd material wrapped around it and nodded. "Good. Right so when I say go, Phil, you drop the stick, we'll light Dan's leg. Got it?" I heard Phil gulp.

"Got it." I answered, mentally preparing myself. They filmed Phil dancing awkwardly with the sticks first, then my sexy end screen bit then finally...

"GO." The man shouted, Phil jumped and dropped the stick.

"Dan, I set your foot on fire!" He called.

I reacted quite blandly, but it was believable. We repeated this a further five times until it was perfect. Yes, I had minor burn wounds from when my jeans had decided to melt but other than that... It went better than expected!

"Your jeans... Are you okay?" He whispered, seeing me wince as we walked of set.

"Of course you turnip, just a little burn!" I kissed him lightly on the cheek before disappearing into my dressing room to get changed. I stumbled in and yanked down my jeans, pulling off the heatproof suit I had been wearing... Apparently it wasn't very heat proof. The bottom half of my legs where my jeans had burned were red raw, some parts bleeding. I quickly ran into the bathroom and grabbed a damp towel, wrapping my leg in it. "Phil?" I called, whimpering slightly as my leg stung. He opened the door slowly and sighed when he saw my leg.

"Just a little burn?" He smirked, pointing at my leg. "Come here." He smiled warmly and took the towel. He quickly soaked it in cold water and held it close to my leg, leaning his head on my thigh as he kneeled next to me. "You're an idiot, you know that?" He whispered after a few minutes, planting a rough kiss on the inside of my thigh.

"But you wouldn't want me any other way, right?" I smirked, leaning down to stroke his hair. "I love you, you know."

"I love you too. Now, I think we need to get you to the burn ward because it's bleeding quite a bit and no arguments Mr Notonfire because you made me do this to you." He sighed and helped me up. Keeping the towel on my legs and ripping the part of the jeans that was already burnt before and making me put them back on. He held my hand down the stairs and called a cab, the man gave us a weird look when he saw my leg. Phil held onto me tightly as he began to drive.

"I don't mean to pry mate but... What on earth happened to ya' leg?" He asked. I was about to answer when Phil spoke.

"He decided it'd be a good idea to let me set him on fire and no matter how many times I told him he was stupid he still did it and-." He was cut off by me pressing my lips to his, if I'd let him carry on he would've unloaded his life story onto the poor guy.

"I'm fine, it's just a flesh wound." I whispered seeing the look of shock on the guys face in the mirror. He nodded and tried to focus on the road. Phil scowled at me, attempting to pull away but I just yanked him in closer, throwing my arm around his neck and nuzzling his ears. "You know you can't stay mad at me." I whispered. He rolled his eyes, but a blush had crept up his neck.

We were only at the hospital a couple of hours, they bandaged up my leg, gave me some cream for it and told me not to have hot baths. Phil was happy, he had made a promise to look after me whilst I recovered.

"Phil... Can I have huggles?" I whimpered as I climbed into bed the next day. We'd just come back from the BBC.

"Nope. I hurt you last night when we were asleep, I think its best if I sleep in my own room for tonight... Hey, don't look so sad. Just for one night okay?" He said, leaning down to kiss me on the forehead, I quickly re-adjusted my position so I got a kiss on the lips, it was probably the only contact I was getting from my over-protective boyfriend for the next week or so. "Oi, cheeky!" He laughed, running his hands through my hair and leaving the room before I could argue. Needless to say, neither of us slept well that night.


	19. I'll Survive Right?

"You owe me." I moaned, sitting up in my bed as Phil entered the room the next morning. He came closer and messed up my extremely curly hair, edging around the bed to sit next to me.

"I don't owe you anything, I did that for your own good." He sighed, stroking my bare chest.

"I didn't sleep at all last night all because you left me!" I pouted, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better I had nightmares all of last night." He shivered and curled up next to me, placing his bare skin on mine.

"About what?" I asked, genuinely curios as to what could scare _my _Phil so much he'd wake up screaming.

"My nightmares are always about losing you. They always have been since we met." He pushed his face into my neck and threw his arm across me.

"You know that's not gonna happen right? I'm never gonna leave you Phil." I kissed his forehead, willing him to look at me with those piercing blue eyes.

"I know but when you're not here that's what it feels like." He looked up, just as I had hoped and pressed his lips to mine. We kept eye contact, I couldn't help but stare. He was just so fucking perfect. He sat up suddenly and straddled me again, leaning his head on my shoulder and holding me as tight as possible. "I'll sleep in here tonight." He whispered, lightly kissing my collar bone.

"Phil... I need a bath." I laughed, grabbing his tummy and tickling him until he fell of me, I was fucking amazing at ruining romantic moments.

"I'll go run it for you; I don't trust you to make it Luke-warm." He winked and leapt from the bed. "Dan!" He called after five minutes, I'd been idly replying to tweets so I jumped slightly at the sudden shout. I headed into the bathroom only to find Phil in my bath. "Get in then." He winked, I did as I was told. Undressing in front of him and climbing into the opposite side of the bath. I was kinda glad it was oversized now.

"What on earth are we doing?" I chuckled, flicking bubbles at Phil as he closed his eyes.

"I didn't trust you and well I needed a bath as well." I nodded, it was strange that I still found this awkward even though this wasn't the first time. After the bath, Phil made a point of making me dinner in bed, and insisted on creaming and re-wrapping my leg with new bandages. He went to leave the room as soon as he was done.

"No, don't go. You promised." I whimpered, grabbing his hand before he reached the door. He sighed and sat back down.

"I was gonna let you get some sleep while I watched TV." He stroked my hair and leant in to kiss me on the forehead.

"Stay in here and we can watch it on my laptop." I pulled him closer, tears forming in my eyes as he put pressure on my burns but I wouldn't let him know, or he wouldn't stay. I grabbed my laptop as he shifted to the other side of me and curled up. "Is Sherlock okay?" I asked, clicking play. After killing my feels me and Phil fell asleep, together.

As hard as it was to stay away from each other during the radio shows, (Not to mention that I wasn't allowed to fucking swear because it was before 9) we were apparently doing pretty well. So far I was kicking Phil's ass in the Dan vs. Phil's and we'd often get back home, after two hours of being starved of each other's touch and just cuddle on the sofa with hot chocolate... It sounds kind off cheesy but it was that moment I looked forward to every week. We rarely got visits from friends these days; it was hard juggling a social life with video making and radio preparations and well...Keeping our love life... *Cough* Pretty damn alive. *Cough*

It came as a shock when Phil's parents turnt up a couple of weeks later. It was a formal visit; they hugged their son, nodded at me, sat in between Phil and me. They said they needed to have a private chat with their son about something so naturally I was sent to our bedroom. I took the opportunity to film since they were talking pretty quietly and for some reason London was... Kind of peaceful. His parents eventually left, muttering something at the door about me sounding stupid talking at a camera.

"I am so fucking glad they've gone, I could literally strip naked and dance." I sighed slumping against the door. "You okay?" I asked, Phil looked kind of ill, all the colour drained from his face (Not that there was much of it in the first place). He nodded quickly and smiled, automatically becoming the Phil I loved. He came closer and wrapped his arms around my waist, in an apologetic hug kind of thing.

"What was so important they had to ask you in person?" I wondered as we sat on the sofa together, both replying to Phans and being anti-social.

"Not much it was stupid really, they shouldn't have gone to so much trouble hey Dan? Can we talk about Playlist Live?" He smiled, closing his laptop lid and edging closer to me, biting his lip and looking perfect.

I sighed, this really wasn't what I wanted to talk about because well... I didn't really want to go. It wasn't the fans, I loved them to death it was just it would mean not being able to spend so much time together and really just being judged because we're well, a couple.

"Come on Dan please, I want to give everyone hugs. They deserve it. It's only three days please. I promise we can spend the last three days together. Please?" He begged, squeezing my hand tight and trying to convince me with his perfect blue eyes. I gave it some more consideration, I guessed he was right, I really did wanna meet some Phans and I did love America and a couple of days, just us on our first proper vacation as a couple... Maybe it wasn't that bad.

"Can we go to Disneyland?" I asked, finally giving in and opening the web browser to book our tickets.

"I knew you'd say yes. You can't resist me." He leant in and kissed me, climbing onto my lap so he could book the tickets just in case I got it wrong. "I've already told our producer we'd be away for a week but Dan... There's something I need to tell you. I mean, what my parents wanted to talk about, it's ever so slightly more important than I might have implied." He sounded sombre suddenly and turned away from the screen, burying his head into my shoulder.

"Go on." I said slowly, my voice cracking despite the shortness of the sentence. He started playing with the over grown tufts of hair at the back of my neck in an almost nervous manner.

"Dan, I'm going on holiday with my parents... So I won't be coming back to London with you." He looked up, meeting my eyes and frowned. I didn't respond, I hoped he was only joking but I could tell by his face that he wasn't. "Please answer me..." He whispered what seemed like moments later, but had apparently been almost 15 minutes. He nuzzled into my neck again trying to get a reaction from me, I don't even understand why I was making so much of a big deal about this whole thing I mean, he'd been away from me before when we were just best friends that lived together and we were both fine then but now... I guessed it'd be almost like a piece of me was somewhere else.

"How are you going to sleep at night?" I asked, trying to steer the conversation away from me. "What about the radio show?" I said again, not giving him time to answer the first question. I laughed nervously as he sat up.

"I promise I'm going to face time you or Skype you every night before I go to sleep and well... I guess you'll have to do it by yourself..." He trailed off and quickly pressed a kiss to my lips.

"That won't work, different time zones. And well what if I get something wrong?" My voice was becoming louder than I'd expected.

"Oh. Well I'll still call you, it's not like you sleep anyway. And I'll put stickers on the buttons so you'll know. Look calm down, if you could come with me I'd ask you but right now I need to fix things with my family and I don't think I can if you're there." He smiled at me, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. I was glad to know this was hurting him as well. Wait, no, that sounds horrible... But true.

"I understand." I replied, no emotion evident in my voice. Why was this such a big deal?! It was just one week, one week that'd pass by really quickly if I wanted it too. I just had to keep busy, hey I could get Pj and Chris to come down and maybe Aiden and we could have a gamers sleepover and be nerdy together just like we used to except Phil wouldn't be there but it would keep my mind of things right? I could plan stuff. I could try and be productive... Then I wouldn't have to think about the fact that the love of my life and the only person I really needed- ever- was half way across the world and I couldn't be near him... I'd be fine right? I'd have to be.


	20. Deep in the Woods

_All the reviews I'm getting are amazing:3 One person asked what the phot was from, I think it was a younow they did ages ago? But yeah, I'm wrapping this up pretty soon and will hopefully only have a few chapters left to write c':_

_Enjoy (I hope)._

I shifted Phil of my lap quickly and moved to the other end of the sofa, quickly purchasing our tickets and closing the lid.

"I'm going for a walk." I half-lied, getting up from the sofa and shrugging on my leather jacket before Phil had a chance to reply.

"Dan..." I heard him start as I slammed the door, I wasn't angry, I was kind of upset but hey, I understood he wanted to spend time with his parents it's just... He didn't talk to me about it first and well I don't know, it feels almost as if he didn't care? I left the building and headed towards an open space, I ended up in the woods. At night, they were eerie but there was something calming about the darkness, it almost felt as if it was permanent; that made me feel safe.

*Phil's POV*

I knew he'd be upset about it. I knew it I knew it. Why didn't I just say no to my parents? Why didn't I ask if Dan could come? Why? Because I was a coward. That's why I didn't. My parents would never accept us being together and ever since they found out about the engagement... Things have been worse. Me and Dan haven't even started planning for the wedding and I already know they won't come.

I didn't go after him, he'd come back eventually, he just needed some time alone and I was okay with that, we'd have to start distancing ourselves a bit now in order for our relationship to work. We'd been together almost 6 months at this point, we needed to work on being apart.

It was coming up to midnight and Dan still hadn't come home... Now I was worried. I grabbed my phone and dialled his number, knowing it off by heart of course.

"Dan?" I called, hearing rustling. He didn't respond, evidently he'd just hit the answer key on the touch screen in his pocket. I heard what sounded like an owl and the rustling of his footsteps mixed with sniffles and the occasional sob. "Dan, can you hear me?" I tried again, louder this time.

"Phil?" He whispered, sounding confused and slightly frightened. "What the fuck..?" He exclaimed loudly.

"In your pocket ya'spoon." I giggled. I heard him reach down and pull out his phone bringing it up to his ear. "Where are you?" I asked.

"In the forest... I'm a bit lost." He laughed.

"Do you want me to come and find you?" I asked, standing up and reaching for my jacket.

"Please, and bring wine and blankets..." He giggled. Wine and blankets? He put the phone down before I could ask, but being the loyal fiancé I was, I did as I was told.

I walked down the path heading for the forest, Dan had texted me saying he'd be playing our song as loud as his phone would go and I'd have to find him and I wasn't allowed to use a torch or my phones light. Apparently it was a game to test how much I loved him, even though he knew.

"Dan?" I called out, hearing our song gradually get louder and louder. There was no response, I noticed a small light coming from between some leaves and approached it, Dan's phone. "Dan, where the fuck are you?" I called out again, swearing because I was scared. I dropped the blankets to the ground on top of the phone, cutting of the only source of light. I heard a giggle from behind me and spun around quickly, I couldn't make out any details but a dark figure was approaching me. I looked up, we were beneath canopy so not even the moons light managed to get through.

I stood dead still, waiting for the person to approach me when I smelt a familiar smell, Dan's deodorant. Thank god.

"Dan-." I went to say, but was cut off by cold lips pressed to mine. He fumbled at my belt and dragged me closer, smashing his hips to mine. I pulled away gasping, what on earth was he doing? "Dan we're in the middle of a forest, I don't like it here, and I'm scared!" I protested, recoiling into his chest and whimpering slightly.

"Don't be." He whispered seductively, his lips brushing my ears lightly. "You brought blankets right?" I nodded and pointed towards the pile of cloth on the forest floor. Dan pushed me roughly to the floor, following me. He pinned my arms behind my back and kissed me with more force than ever before.

"Dan-OWCH. You're hurting me!" I cried as soon as he'd left my mouth and gone to chew on my neck.

"It's payback for you leaving me next week. Also, I deserve this don't I? I mean, a week without you in my bed, I don't think you understand what that's gonna do to me." He smirked and sat up slightly, throwing his legs around my waist and still not letting my hands go.

"But... It's scary here. Can't we just cuddle? It'll be even better if we wait until after I get back..." I trailed off, trying to sound enticing but probably sounding like a sad kitten because his closeness was causing my voice to waver. He rolled of me and scooped me up in his arms, grabbing the blankets and covering us in them, he changed the music back to our song.

"I made a playlist... It's got every song I thought we could relate to in it... Listen." He smiled warmly, completely different from the animal he was 15 seconds ago, I thought he was gonna rip my clothes off and perform tribal dances for a minute there! The music played as he held me in his arms.

1) If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn- Sleeping with Sirens

2) Ho Hey- The Lumineers

3) I'm low on gas and you need a Jacket- Pierce the Veil

4) Everything- Bribry 'O Reilly

5) Little Bit of Truth- You me at Six

6) I don't Care if You're contagious- Pierce The Veil

7) Summertime- My Chemical Romance

8) The Only Hope for Me is You- My Chemical Romance

9) This is How I Disappear- My Chemical Romance

10) Sleepwalking- Bring Me The Horizon

"This is how I disappear?" I whisper as it comes on, I know this song well, it used to be one of my favourites. "Why is this relevant?" I asked, maybe my head was a bit fuzzy from the wine but I didn't understand.

"Because it's true... Without you Phil I honestly have no idea where I'd be today. Probably in some dead end job, still having a quarter life crisis, stuck in depression and obviously not very happy. I wouldn't have had the confidence to keep doing youtubey stuff if it wasn't for you! Remember all those times I phoned you up crying because I got a hate comment? I wouldn't have gotten anywhere without you... I love you." He leant in and pressed a kiss lightly to my lips, squeezing me tighter in his arms.

"I love you too..." The comment and kiss had taken me by surprise... I didn't realise how much I meant to him... Well more I didn't understand /Why/ I meant anything to him. "Dan, can we go home now? I don't like the dark." I whispered, burying my face into his shirt, trying to wipe the doubts from my mind.

'Your eyes are swallowing me, mirrors start to whisper, shadows start to see.' I hummed along with the tune until it stopped and I looked up. Dan was staring down at me; his huge brown eyes the only thing I could see in the dim torch light from our iPhones.

"Your eyes are swallowing me." He whispered, bringing my lips closer to his. He caressed my cheek bones with one hand, holding me lightly by the neck with the other. He only let go when he couldn't breathe any longer.

"Mirrors start to whisper, shadows start to see." I hummed back, kissing him once more on the lips.

"My skins smothering me, help me find a way to breathe." And with that, he grabbed my cheeks and kissed me again, once more, not letting go until neither of us could breathe and we were both red in the face.

"We should head home." I stated, seeing as it was almost half 1 in the morning. "Are you still angry?" I asked, grabbing his hands and pulling him up with me.

"You should know by now that I can't stay mad at you. It hurts me too much, stupid."


End file.
